Hardt Out of the City

Once Upon A Time There Was A Unicorn and a Turtle...

2009-06-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

Every family will have it's eccentricities. Little quirks that make you laugh at family reunions but things that you hope your romantic partners don't ever know about. Mine would be the Family Unicorn and Turtle. Now I know what you are thinking, there are no such things as Unicorns and why would I be worried about a Turtle? Now the Turtle is a taxidermist stuffed turtle and the unicorn is this hideous marble head. When I was growing up these two things were passed between members of the family as a joke. You never know when you would get shipped a Christmas centerpiece with the turtle as Santa and the unicorn as Rudolph. Or you'd come home to a postcard of the Turtle floating in the Mediterranean in just a little turtle speedo. Basically two White Elephant Jokes gone wrong... This week while organizing all my pictures I came across a road trip that I made up to SLO when I was just out of college...

Best little navigator ever... though I think he's confused, a few too many maps.

And apparently my little unicorn was lonely until he fell in love with a goat!

Until the goat had to say goodbye...

Home is where the Hardt it!

2009-06-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

As much as I love to travel there is something to be said about coming home... and after being away for three months I spent this week just coming home... and by home I meant that I spent the week tasting, touching, smelling and falling back in love with the ocean. There are no words that can express what this week and this water has done for me... so here's the pictures from the week. You might not be able to taste the salt in your mouth but if you look long enough you just may feel that ocean breeze in your hair.

Top 10 places to eat in Los Angeles

2009-06-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

On hearing that a friend of mine has been living in Los Angeles for almost 4 years and still hasn’t tried more than a handful of restaurants I devised yet another top ten list to get him out of the Valley and into the belly of Los Angeles. Or should I say get Los Angeles into his Belly. Here’s the list. My pick for top 10 restaurants in Los Angeles…. In no particular order.

1) Benitos Tacos.
The closest that you can get to Humbertos in Los Angeles, with 3 convenient locations (at least to my apartment that is) that stay open late so you can get a burrito or rolled tacos when heading home from the bars…or on those Sunday mornings when there isn’t much else open. Prices comparable to the best of the “taco shops”. This is not tex-mex but good old Southern California version of Mexican. Don’t expect margaritas or table cloths at this place. This is basically a taco truck indoors, and equally as good.
http://benitos.com/

2) Cha Cha Chicken.
Right next to the beach, this place looks, feels, sounds and will have you believing that you really are sitting right off a Caribbean beach drinking a mai tai (minus the mai tai and the incredibly blue crystal clear water!). The food is amazing, and I would recommend the Cha Cha Jerk Chicken (of course) but extra spicy is the best ! In fact you will probably want to get a container of their sauce to go, it last for about a month in the fridge and you can make your own jerk chicken. Though their dirty beans and rice are also orgasm worthy… best part of it, is the short hop to the beach making it a perfect Saturday destination. Though it’s a little pricier than what you would expect from a beach shack, its worth every little cent! http://www.chachachicken.com/ 1906 Ocean Ave., Santa Monica Ca. 90405

3) Big Mikes.
If you are looking for the best Philly Cheese Steak outside of Philly than this is the place for you. Located right off the strip in Hermosa it’s perfect to fill you up after a day of volleyball and sun. This possibly will have one of the best sandwiches that you’ve ever had in your life!!!! Big Mike’s is so down low that it doesn’t even have a website, yet the line is always around the block!
1314 Hermosa Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254

4) Primitivo Wine Bistro
The one is the BEST place in Los Angeles. It also has the prices to back that up. Not for an everyday destination, but for special occasions it’s the perfect place to celebrate with wine and tapas. Their cheese plate is the best (it’s now only on the desert menu but you can order it as part of your meal too), the second best is their steak frites and fries (the sauce you will want to lick off the plate it’s so good), and the third is their tiramisu (though they also have this amazing rum ice cream that I’ve only tasted better actually in Jamaica with our private chef).
http://www.primitivowinebistro.com/ 1025 Abbot Kinney Blvd., Venice, CA 90291

5) Brazilian Exotic Foods
This is the mom and pop shop, without the pop. It’s a pretty much female run business and will make you feel like you are sitting down to eat with your grandma cooking, this is if you grandma was a little Brazilian lady. There is no set menu, and it changes every day. Try their version of Papricosh Chicken (it will be this cream chicken thing that will look disgusting and is just a little paradise in your mouth).
http://brazilianexoticfoods.com/ 3300 Overland Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90034

6) Diddy Riese.
You can’t go wrong with 1.50 ice cream sandwiches. You pick your choice of fresh baked cookie and then your choice of ice cream. My personal favorite is M&M Cookie with Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. This place is actually perfect on the hot Santa Anna nights when you can’t sleep and nothing you do can cool you off…
http://diddyriese.com/home.php 926 Broxton Avenue, Westwood, CA 90024

7)Paradise Cove
Definitely over priced for the food but the ambience is worth every penny, though I have to say their spicy grilled chicken sandwich (order it with avocado added onto it) and amazing curly fries make it a perfect brunch place. But really the reason you go is for your mimosas that you can drink with your feet literally in the sand (though their strawberry mojitos are also worth it!). Now this one is perfect after an early morning hike in Coral Canyon!
http://www.paradisecovemalibu.com/ 28128 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA 90265

8)The Counter.
Best burger in the city… though really it’s the burger bowl that I go for. This is a build your own which has high class choice of toppings. My fav is the burger bowl with feta cheese, avocado and the best honey mustard dressing. And you can’t eat a burger without their sweet potato fries!
A party in your mouth!!!!
http://www.thecounterburger.com/

9)Fords Filling Station.
Comfort food with a high class twist. Though I think any place that you can choose what kinds of meat and what kinds of cheeses you want on your platter is AOK in my book! But even better than the cheese and meat plate is the bacon wrapped Brussels sprouts. Your mouth will be watering even weeks later!
http://www.fordsfillingstation.net/ 9531 Culver Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90232

10)C&O Tratorria
Two locations right next to each other in Venice, it’s the best Italian place in town. Though what I like even better than the food, better than the wine, better than the garlic knots is the fact that they hand out lyrics so everyone can sing along on busy nights! You can’t go wrong with a good ole sing along.
http://www.cotrattoria.com/ 31 Washington Boulevard, Marina Del Rey, CA 90292

Now the problem with putting together the 10 best places is that you can’t narrow it down to just 10… so here are the runner ups.

Tie for Runner Up in best Mexican Category:
-Titos Tacos- You have to get the tacos here, they are simple, greasy, cheap and with tons of cheese!
http://www.titostacos.com/ 11222 Washington Place, Culver city, CA 90230
-Chipotle- build your own burrito! The only chain restaurant on the list but so worth it. Only didn’t make the top because it’s a bit pricier than the other taco stands. But that’s what you get when you are owned by the McDonald’s Corporation.
http://www.chipotle.com/#/land

Tie Runner Up for best Sandwich:
-Bay Cities Deli. What looks like the normal sandwich shop is really one of the yummiest places in the city. Tons and tons of meat, heapings of cheese, two great pieces of bread and all the condiments you want!
http://baycitiesitaliandeli.com/ 1517 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90401
-Portos Bakery- now most people go there for their Cuban style sandwiches. I go there for their Potato Balls. Meaty goodness mixed with velvety mashed potatoes fried up to golden perfection. Best thing in the world!!!
http://www.portosbakery.com/

Runner Up for best view:
-Moon Shadows. This place is unbelievable over priced, but the view is amazing. My favorite time is to go it later at night on really storm nights. The place is practically empty, and you look out on the ocean watching the rain and the crazy waves. Add to that a glass of wine and once again a good cheese plate (yea I know there is probably a theme to this!)
http://www.moonshadowsmalibu.com/ 20356 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, Ca 90265

Runner up for best comfort food:
-Baby Blues- Unreal Southern BBQ food with once again another sauce you would lick! This place is a little more than a counter with a few tables, which is why there is always a line and a short wait. But it’s beyond worth it.
http://www.babybluesvenice.com/#/home 444 Lincoln blvd, Venice, CA 90291

Runner up for best burger:
-Ricks on Main. Tuesday and Wednesday’s are Burger Madness. For 6 dollars you get a huge burger and huge bucket of fries (now mind you it use to be 5 dollars for burger, fries and a beer but hey we’ve all been hit by the economy.)
2907 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA, 90405

Runner up for best date place:
-World Café. Best Hummus in the city- with a platter of veggies and bread. Also an amazing spicy chicken penne. But the reason to go is to sit outside enjoying the weather with all the twinkly Christmas lights and enjoying a nice bottle of wine.
http://worldcafela.com/ 2820 Main St , Santa Monica, CA 90405

Runner up for best desert:
-Nickel dinner- since you love bacon on everything they actually have a bacon DONUT!
http://5cdiner.com/ 524 S. Main St. , Los Angeles CA 90013

Tie for Runner up for best Brunch:
-Rose Cafe- Not only amazing amazing mimosas but you can get croissants with brie.
http://www.rosecafe.com/ 220 Rose Ave., Venice, CA
-Ponchos- Mexican brunch with bottomless free champagne and mimosas!
http://www.panchosrestaurant.com/ 3615 Highland Avenue, Manhattan Beach CA. 90266

Monkeys jumping on my bed!

2009-05-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Over the years people have to come to know my currents and ex’s, almost as intimately as I have, through my blogs… they have their favorites, the ones they hate, the ones they root for. And since more often than not I’m complaining about an ex, I thought I’d share the current ex that is amusing me the most- Mr. X, of course. Now he’s been in India for a week and a half, and as a joke I asked him to bring me back a monkey. In fact have told him that the only way that he will find his way back into my bedroom when he returns from India will be if he brings me that said monkey… and so last week the pictures of Monkeys began. And I have to say I get a smile on my face when once a day I get new pictures of monkey… so I thought I would share with you my favorite pictures so that maybe you too can have a smile on your face (the best is the one where you can see him also taking the picture on his I-phone and it looks like the monkey’s about to attack him!)

Enjoy my monkeys!

Don't always judge a book by it's cover...

2009-05-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

When everyone thinks of Havasu what they think of is an endless party filled with topless girls, orgies, stripper poles and Copper Canyon... what they don't see is the beauty of the place. It has the most amazing sunsets and equally amazing sunrises if you can get up early enough to see one. There is something about the mix of blue water and red mountains all around it that makes it just breath taking. This was my favorite spot in all of Havasu. It's a 20 minute hike to get here from the Estuary but worth it. Sometimes you find what you are looking for in the place that you least expected it. The trick is to just let go of any expectations, any ideas of what you want, any plans you have and learn to just appreciate what is in front of you. Because sometimes you may just be surprised what you find when you go a little bit off your well beaten path!

Here is my little spot of paradise in the middle of chaos...

Best of the Worst in Vegas...

2009-04-27T10:47:00.001-07:00

Over the weekend we all headed to Vegas... too much crazy to write about in one blog (and am way to exhausted to rehash it right now). But what I did spend my Saturday afternoon doing was drinking by the pool and trying to spot the tackiest guy in Vegas. So let the voting begin. Here are my top choices from the Venetian Pool!

Candidate #1

70's Porn Guy

From the Side View
And from the back... best part was his black undies but you can't see those in the pic to well!

Candidate #2:
Hairy Guy A

Candidate #3:
Hot Chick with Douche Bag

My Submission for: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

Candidates #4 & 5
Douche with Douche
Close up...

And with Guitar Hero Guitar...and yes those shirts to say Party with Sluts!

Candidate #6

Midwestern Tourist

Candidate #7:
Douche in Robe

Candidate #8:

Waxing... FAIL!
This one actually was my pick! With crack and everything!!!

Lake Havasu Dive Bar #2- Desert Martini

2009-04-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

The Desert Martini
2120 McCulloch Blvd N
Lake Havasu City AZ Phone

(928) 855-1818

Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 4 Shots

Atmosphere- 4 Shots. This is a very very tiny bar. Reminds me of something you would see in an Old Western Town. It looks like everything has been up since the 80’s and will remain that way until the place closes. In fact it looks like the decade may have climber up here and died. Neon Signs hanging from the walls, a lone fish tank with the most random assortment of larger fish in it with a replica of a very large swordfish handing next to it, an old school popcorn maker... Basically any random thing you can imagine has found a home here at the Martini. Everything may be random, and yet it all fits together.

Local Crowd- 4 shots. This place had one of the younger more normal crowds I’ve seen in Havasu. Always packed, yet seems to empty out later in the night leaving the place nice and open to play the variety of games.

Potential Activities- 4 Shots. With Pool Tables, Shuffle Board, 2 dart boards and of course the requisite jukebox it has it all. And all is free, which makes it even better!

Drinks- 4 Shots. The special is the Desert Martini- A beer with an olive in it. Sounds nasty but in fact is really tasty, even for people like me that don’t like olives!

Food- 3 Shots. Although there isn’t any real food the popcorn is fresh and unbelievably tasty, salty and buttery. Just perfect to go with a cold beer.

Bartenders- 4 Shots. The owner is great and always ready to chat and make it feel like your own little cheers.

Overall this was one of my favorites in Havasu. Located in between two other bars it was always a great way to end the evenings!

Havasu Dive Bar #1- The Office cocktail Lounge

2009-04-17T22:41:00.000-07:00

The Office Cocktail Lounge
2180 Acoma Blvd W,
Lake Havasu City, AZ 86403
Phone (928) 855-9583

Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 3 Shots

Atmosphere- 3 Shots. The inside is very divey, but the outside has a great patio, with flat screen tv’s, nice misters and pool table. The Office definitely has a sports bar theme to it. All around a great place to watch the game outside while having a beer.

Local Crowd- 2 Shots. Some days are down right empty, but others are packed (especially when the Piranha Crew comes rolling by). And although the locals were a little hard at this bar, they didn’t bother the actors on the show (except for a few Step Brother Quotes).

Potential Activities- 3.5 Shots. Darts in the corner. Pool tables both inside and outside. A juke box that will actually play the music you pay for without too much wait.

Drinks- 3 Shots. I know there are other choices of drinks here but my favorite are the little mini-pitchers of Beer. GREAT prices (Only about 7 dollars for a mini-pitcher of Hef) and includes the nice little cooler sticks.

Food- 2 Shots. No real food, though they do have frozen pizzas and tons and tons of snack food.
Bartenders- 3 Shots. And yet another Havasu bar where the bartenders are pregnant. But on the plus side she was very nice about letting me leave my car in the parking lot over night. And judging by how full it still was when I went to get it at 7am I wasn’t the only one that enjoyed the Bartenders quick service!

Overall this was a great bar to hang out with, one of the first and one of my last of the dive bar events!

The Original Dive Bar Gang!

3 cops, some shots, a multi-million dollar houseboat and whole lot of sun!

2009-03-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was insanely crazy…too much to go into details with so I thought I’d share a pictorial view of the weekend. Though to sum up what’s NOT in the picture here is a rundown of the weekend- Another Friday night at Kokomos and Martini bay that resulted in shots with our director, an invited on the houseboat for Saturday, more bull rides, taste testing new Piranha Shots, cops being called to the hot tub for what the neighbors thought was a domestic disturbance call (it was just us laughing at 2 am!), Jet Skiing on the lake, some time at the turtle, some time at heat, many meals, laughter, shots, sun, sand and fun. And now for the pictures!!!

The start of my Journey... and the first of my 3 boats I hopped on for the day! Enjoying my ride down the channel on the way to Cooper to meet up with the crew and the boats!
The camera boat. Yea the crew has it really hard and get Camera Boats instead of a dark camera truck. With Video Village under the awning. We were only shooting b unit for the opening credits but still had about 10 boats out there between basecamp, transpo, and crew boats.

Driving on of the crew guys boats around the lake... yes I seriously just boat hopped. And after dropping off the grips the boat was mine for the morning!

Brian and I put puting around the lake

Lazy Saturday's in Havasu... getting use to this life

The crew setting up for a shoot on top of the canyon. Yes some people had to work, just not me! They even had to climb up the top of the mountain with all their gear, while we watched from the boat and getting some sun.

The boys enjoying the boobs in the Canyon. You can see some of the dumb ass kids diving off the rocks in the background!

Crazy kids at Cooper Canyon. Look closely and you can probably see all the girls in Pasties. Let me tell you no one looks good in pasties!

More of the Cooper Canyon Party

The House Boat... yea it's a rough life I have! It was supposed to be used for basecamp but seeing as the crew was stuck in the canyon for the day it was just the four of us stowaways enjoying the sun!

Grill Saturdays!

Perfect View!

One of the 4 bedrooms!

View from the master bedroom

Living Room complete with flat screen TV

Kitchen and Living Room

Hot tub on the top

Yes it even has a slide! Brian was the only one brave enough to get in the cold water without a wetsuit!

Hardt, the Puma.

2009-03-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

I don’t know where to start on my weekend… so I guess I will start at the beginning- Friday.

Friday Night- After a very exciting first week of work I decided some steam needed to be blown off with the new co-workers. After work we stumbled down to the hotel bar for some drinks. Or at least that was the plan. Instead we ended up with shot after shot after shot at Martini Bay and then headed over to Kokomos (the spring break crazy club at the resort) and managed some more shots and a few rides on the bull. And yes I rode the bull. And yes I was so sore yesterday from it, complete with bruises and marks. Once the room started to spin it was time for some much needed food in my belly (Jack In the Box of course!) and bed. All in all a fun night, a bit crazy but a great way to bond with the co-workers.

Testosterone Saturday-Now I started the day off with a raging hangover but luckily was able to rev it up enough for a ride on the jet skis… which was amazing. There is something completely freeing being out there on the lake, wind in my hair and just going as fast as possible over all the bumps and waves. And yes I did get even sorer after that ride but it was so worth it. Not only did I have a blast doing it, it felt good to know that I was able to keep up with 3 23 year old boys out there! After the jet skis we went for a short dip in the pool (with beers of course) and then headed out on the Pontoon boat for the rest of the afternoon. 4 hours later I think I have finally seen all of Lake Havasu, and I have to say it’s spectacular!!! We docked in Cooper Canyon for awhile.

Cooper Canyon

And if you’ve never been it’s something that’s impossible to describe. All the boats tie up to each other and join in on the party boats with the dj’s and it’s just a big drunk spring break mess. Everyone is just dancing in their bathing suits, though with a lot of the girls that suit was just PASTIES. Yes it seems outside of the stripper world girls do wear those out, and in Lake Havasu it seems to be completely normal that all the girls are just wearing pasties. The other appeal of Cooper Canyon is the cliff jumping. You climb up the cliffs by a tow rope, get to the highest point and just jump. It was summed up perfectly by one of the guys I was with: “Water just shot up my ass. I literally was raped by Lake Havasu”. After mooring there for a bit we headed over to the Naked Turtle where I found the best bar in Havasu. It’s this Tiki bar out on the island, complete with rum drinks and Jimmy Buffet!

Naked Turtle

After the Naked Turtle it was home to the hotel to get changed before my night out with the boys. And by boys I mean it was me and 6 boys for the night. Yes my odds were good! We started back at the Naked Turtle but then quickly progressed to Midget Wrestling. Yes you read that right, we went to midget wrestling. And it wasn’t like I thought, little Midgets wrestling each other. Instead it was some crazy jackass style fighting. Complete with a midget drinking his own pee, one showing how he can do doggie style like the best of them (standing up!). stapling dollar bills to each other’s heads and tongues (complete with Midget Blood) and then fighting with props (sledgehammer, trash can, chairs). All in all it was the most extreme and most disgusting thing I have seen in a really long time! Seriously not what I expected and something that I hope to NEVER see again. Luckily they were offering PBR’s pint size for only 3 dollars, though I have to say I didn’t have enough to actual be able to stand Midget Wrestling. After that we all were a little off, so we headed back over the bridge to Kokomos where I partied with the 23 year olds until 2 (complete with another bull ride), did a little hot tubing until 3 and then it was off to bed. All in all a great weekend and am exhausted. Nap time for poor little Hardt…

Top 10 things to do while in Phoenix

2009-01-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

1. Camel Back Mountain
Best Hiking in Phoenix... A little over 2 hours to the top. Make sure its done on a cool day. The first hour is a mild hike- the second hour is just rock climbing! Most amazing thing to do in town but only for experienced hikers, so you may need to condition first ;)

2. Greasewood Flats
http://www.greasewoodflat.net/
Biker Bar Extraordinaire... Its an outdoor dive- good burgers, nice beer, just hope you don't have to use the restroom! But there's a dance floor with live music from Thursday through Sunday. And there are bonfires at most tables to warm you up on those cold nights in July. Although its mainly a biker bar you will see the occasional celebrity in town!

3. Farrelli's Cinema Supper Club
http://www.farrellis.com/
Although it sounds like on of the lesser fun things on the list, its a fantastic date night or a way to stay cool in the summer. A dinner movie theater in Scottsdale, usually first run movie with great food and fantastic wine!

4. At One Yoga
For after those long stressful days when you just need to unwind try a class at At One. If you want the most intense workout you have ever been thru take the power yoga class from the owner... you might not be able to walk for days but your body will thank you for it in the end!

5. Salt River
Grab some friends and a cooler of beer and head tubing... You can rent Inner tubes down at the river for a couple of bucks. They will shuttle you up to the top of the river and you can float down for a couple of hours depending on how fast the current is!

6. Downtown Scottsdale
Scottsdale is a cute little town... go during the day and you can stock up on overprices souvenirs and cool Indian jewelry and house wares But at night its the hot spot to go. Martini Ranch is great for live music and a more upscale evening- Its usually got a couple of dance floors going and plenty of room both indoor and outdoor to dance. But if you are looking for a little wilder crowd head to Dos Gringos (http://www.dosgringosaz.com/) or Sugar Daddy's.

7. Tempe Town Lake
Not quite the ocean but rent a kayak or a sailboat for the day and you can almost feel the salt air on your face! It's a small lake but fun if you want to walk or bike. There are a couple of sand "beaches" if you fell like laying out in the sun for the day.

8. Cave Creek
Its maybe a 40 minute drive from Phoenix but a little town with some fun things to do... Mostly an artsy community but great finds. Check out The Dump- best shopping in town! On your way out you have to try the Crazy Eds Chili Beer at The Black Mountain Brewing Company (http://www.chilibeer.com/). It is one beer you will NEVER forget!

9. Offroading
Rent a Jeep for the day and take a day trip into the mountains... if you don't feel up to driving yourself up in Sodona they have the Pink Jeep tours and someone else will drive you around for the day. Plan for a couple of hours out there and you will see everything from Coyotes to Indian Ruins!

10. Giligans Sand Bar.
When you first walk in it looks like any other dive bar. Until you start to look around and realize that it's all for midgets. Midget Bar. Midget Table. Midget Chairs. Even a Midget Sex Swing! There is the “shot” corner that is manned by midgets (I KID YOU NOT). There are two separate wheels, one that is just a wheel o booze and the other one that is a wheel o shots. There are two beer pong tables in the back corner. A strippers Pole. A man in an Obama Mask… oh the list goes on and on with the craziness of this bar. The only thing that was missing was a Beer Louge though I wouldn’t put it past them!

Hardts Bar Etiquette

2008-12-10T23:24:00.000-08:00

A bartender: A noun. A person who mixes drinks at a bar.

A Stripper: A noun. A person who strips or performs a striptease.

A Hooker: A noun. A prostitute.

I think the time has come to point out to people that there is a difference, a very large difference between A Bartender, A Stripper, And a Hooker. Now I know that most people would be able to see a difference right away. One being that I neither show my breasts nor have sex with my customers but somehow people have gotten confused. That being said here is my list Bar Etiquette… somehow people seem to have forgotten the basics.

-Your bartender/server/host/busboy is probably making minimum wage and relies heavily on your tips. Now I know that you say you do not get tips at your job. And that’s fine, but I’m also pretty sure you get paid more than 8-10 dollars an hour, have health insurance, paid sick days, 2 weeks vacation and don’t get harassed on an hourly basis. So here’s the thing, if you do not believe in tipping- then you shouldn’t be drinking at a bar! Generally it should be a dollar a drink. Now when you buy a beer for 3.50, it is nice if you just give the 1.50 as a tip but 1 dollar would be fine, 50 cents IS NOT acceptable. Now if you are drinking multiple rounds, keep tipping! Unless you want to give 20 dollars as your first tip it is not acceptable to think after giving your measly dollar you don’t have to tip for the rest of the evening.

-Even if your drink is free- you still have to tip. Even if think the bartender is your best friend- you still have to tip. A class act is the owners of the bar I work at- when they come in and order they still tip me every time! The thing to remember is you still have to tip. So if I hand you your change and you walk away you better bet I’m putting a voodoo curse on your cheap ass.

-If you want an evening at a strip club that’s your choice. Yet when you walk into a sports bar DO NOT EVER ask the bartender or waitress to show you their breasts. That is not acceptable EVER.

-I have a name, though I understand you not knowing it. And that’s fine. If you want my attention and feel the need to scream across the bar a simple Miss will work. Bartender, Hey You, Wench (I kid you not I got that one last night), Honey, Sexy, Sugar- none of those are proper names to call someone. It is also not acceptable to whistle or snap.

-I basically get paid to be nice to you. Sure I smile and maybe even flirt a bit-though mostly I’m thinking please remember to tip me. Don’t confuse me being nice to meaning I want to take you home with me. Remember first and foremost you might be in a bar but I am at work. Now I know some bartender have no problem using the job to pick up people, but the majority of us DO NOT USE WORK AS A DATING SERVICE. So please do not ask me if you can cook me dinner, take me out, cheer me up, take me home…

-We all have our bad days too. Some days our minds are on other things. So if we ask your order for the second time or give you the wrong drink. Just let us know politely… because yelling that this is wrong isn’t the way to go. It’s the way to get someone to spit in your drink. Now I actually would never do that (I’m a big believer in Karma) but I know many of your bartenders/waiters/servers that do!

-Almost no one that is serving you a bar or restaurant wants to be doing that for the rest of their lives. Please don’t ask oh did you go to school? Oh why aren’t you working in Film anymore? Have you though about doing (fill in the blank)? Because trust me we have. And are trying to do (fill in the blank). So please don’t make us feel any worse about it than we already do. And don’t be surprised to hear that many of us have gone to the top Universities. Yes I work in a bar. Yes I have blonde hair. No I am not stupid or dumb. So don’t treat me that way. And talking down to me will only ensure that the guy next to you will get his drink first next time.

-Don’t expect free drinks or tell me about how you use to get a free drink after you ordered free ones. Sure I know it’s nice to get a free drink but some of us are accountable for our liquor. At my bar they even count the empty bottles so at the end of the evening when I end up with more beer bottles than are paid for I have to account for that. Trust me bar managers know how much liquor is being paid for and how much is given away free. And you might be grumbling that you had to pay for all your alcohol, but hey bartenders have to worry about paying for their bills and without a job that’s next to impossible.

That being said for as many horrible customers that we have, there are three times as many really nice customers out there that make us smile and make the day seem not so bad. And despite the many complaints I have to do like bartending. It’s fun to meet all kinds of different people and hear their crazy stories. And trust me there are some CRAZY ones. And it sure as hell beats having to work in retail or sit in front of a desk all do just hating life. So just remember, while you are out there having fun there is someone working pretty damn hard to make that happen. So smile at us, be patient, and tip large!

Midgets, Wheels O Alcohol and 40’s…

2008-11-29T22:27:00.000-08:00

I haven’t done a bar review on my other blog for a couple of months now… but the bar from last night really deserved getting a write up. First you have to know that I have a tendency to get into trouble when I get into Arizona. Mainly because Mr. Arizona and I use to party the weekends away (oh the memories!). And we had our bar (Handle Bar J’s) that we went to every time, but we also have a selection of additional bars that we would rotate in (Dirty Dogs, Dos Gringos, Sugar Daddies, Martini Ranch) so it’s not surprising that I’ve had a hard time going to those places without him. Just too many memories of the tow of us. So last night when Jamie suggested a different bar I was all for it, and boy was I glad that I did! So here is my review of naughtiest bar in Scottsdale- Giligan’s Sand Bar.

Location- 4 Shots. Just off of Scottsdale Road and located right in the middle of Old Town Scottsdale this place has a perfect location. Great for after dinner or before heading down to the road to Dos Gringos. Plus I was able to get rock star parking out front so I was very happy!

Atmosphere- 4 shots. When you first walk in it looks like any other dive bar. Until you start to look around and realize that it's all for midgets. Midget Bar. Midget Table. Midget Chairs. Even a Midget Sex Swing! There is the “shot” corner that is manned by midgets (I KID YOU NOT). There are two separate wheels, one that is just a wheel o booze and the other one that is a wheel o shots. There are two beer pong tables in the back corner. A strippers Pole. A man in an Obama Mask… oh the list goes on and on with the craziness of this bar. The only thing that was missing was a Beer Louge though I wouldn’t put it past them!

Drinks- 4 shots. Alcohol is cheap… they have multiple beer in UBER LARGE SIZE for only 7 dollars and pitchers for 7.50! Plus if you want to try the wheel o shots it’s only 3 dollars for a shot or 7 dollars for 3!!! Though watch out some of the drinks on the wheel are killers and some are just destined to make you look like an ass- for example the Toilet Plunge Drink served in an acual Toilet Bowl Plunger! Add the 99 cent Jello shots and you have all the ingredients for a really drunken fun night!

Food- 4 shots. The food was large, comforting, fattening, and cheap! If you are drunk and looking for some really damn good cheese fries than head on over! No kidding when I say that plate of fries was the size of a large TV. And with warm cheesy goodness!!!

Bartenders- 4 Shots. Although I didn’t try any mix drinks there were some attractive bartenders and I have to say they were entertaining. There was a microphone and they were yelling totally non-pc insulting things (kind of reminded me of Dicks but EXTREME)… and since I was never picked on I thought it was pretty damn funny!

All in all I have to say a pretty funny evening… and you know it was a fun night when I made quite a few drunken calls and text messages. Sorry to all of you that got the holy goodness it’s a midget ones… Thanks Jamie for a new fun place to visit when I’m in town. And next trip I plan on seeing you all out there spinning that wheel with me and the midgets!

Life of a Standby Traveler on the busiest day of the year… AKA Hardt Hates Holiday Travel

2008-11-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

4:30am Alarm goes off
4:35am Coffee
4:45am Second Cup of Coffee
5:30am Arrive at airport. Excited because there is no line at the kiosk so I can check in right away. Insert credit card into the machine- NO RESERVATION it says. Ok, I try looking it up by last name- NO RESERVATION it says. So I proceed directly to the ticket counter. YAY a reservation, turns out my mom couldn’t spell our last name right, it was just hart.
5:45am Stand in the longest line ever for security. Outside. Smack dab in the middle of a puddle. In the rain. With no umbrella. Yea I can already tell this is going to be a great day.
6:00am Make it through security, but am the asshole in the security line that forgot my cell phone in my pocket. Hold up line. Currently everyone is loving me!
6:30am First oversold flight takes off without me. Not a seat to be had… and of course all the monitors are out so I have to trek back through security to find out where my next gate is.
8:00am Third oversold flight of the day takes off, yea you can see a pattern here. Though have been enjoying watching all the angry people at the airport. Who can be this angry at only 8 in the morning! Though I have to say I don’t think it is wise to be an asshole to the ticket agents, especially if you are the one who is an hour late for your flight. But of course he got the last seat on the plan so maybe there is something to this yelling thing after all! Officially hate holiday travel!
8:15am Sitting outside waiting for Super Shuttle to take me from LAX to John Wayne Airport in Orange County. There is a seat on a plane for me...YAY!
8:20am Wondering if it’s too early for a drink?
8:30am Finally on the shuttle bus and we are listening to Christmas music. Things are looking up!
10:00am At John Wayne Airport, FINALLY. 2nd Airport. 2nd Security check point. And a new observation- these new divisions for security check points (family, casual and expert) really do not work. At both airports this morning the shortest lines were the family and liquid lines, and the longest lines were the expert traveler one (and everyone except me had liquids. To which I say- READ THE FREAKIN SIGNS PEOPLE!). But on a bright note I managed to gash my wrist with the ring I am wearing, so now am dripping blood and look like I attempted to kill myself!
11:11am Finally on airplane… getting very very sleepy… nap time!
11:30am Woken up from nap by the most insane turbulence. Half asleep but hear call button and emergency… at this point I’m ready to assume my position with my head between my legs and say a few hail marys if necessary.
1:15pm Finally off the airplane. Kiss the ground in Phoenix and am stumbling to the nearest bar…

Sometimes we just need rose colored glasses

2008-11-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

This morning while trying to put the final touches on a new blog for my personal site (top 10 reasons why unemployment sucks) I started to poke around on the Internet and found an article that horrified me. A college student committed suicide live on a web cam over the weekend. Now I’m not going to link the website (in which the camera was only turned off when the police arrived to already find him dead) because I don’t think this guy deserves any more publicity. But here’s the thing, he not only died on camera but there were people that actually watched and were making comments on it while it was happening. And that’s the part that horrifies me the most. The fact that all these people had the ability to save this young kids life and instead they took time to make jokes and debate if he really had taken enough pills to die. I can’t imagine what this kid was going through, but obviously it was a cry for help and he was hoping that someone would save him. And no one cared enough about another human’s life to do anything about it. Mind you there were some that eventually did call the police, but only after it was too late. 12 hours after he said he was going to kill himself. And the website administrators were finally notified and were the ones to deal with the police. But you would think that they would have shut down the site, but no they not only allowed it to continue as people watching a college student already dead but they now have published photos and the video of what happened. The entire thing just disgust me on so many levels

It really got me to thinking that there is just so much negativity in the world. So much cynicism. So much narcissism. Sometimes all we need is a hug and to be told everything is going to be all right. Well I can’t tell you that everythings going to be all right and I don’t think my virtual hug is going to help much. But I can give you a list of everything that makes me smile. Ok it’s a little sappy. But sometimes we just need to turn up the optimism. So sitting here on my Saturday morning here’s everything that can bring a smile to my face. Maybe it will bring one to yours too. Maybe you will just sneer at it. Who knows. But for me, I’m going out with a grin!

- Evenings with my girlfriends full of laughter, wine, and cheese

- Sex on a lazy Saturday morning… Mmmmm enough said on that one!
- Afternoons spent on the beach with just a surfboard and a beer.
- The moment you land on vacation, when anything is possible.
- A Hug from my mother
- The first dip in ocean when you no longer need your wetsuit
- They way your heart skips a beat every time you hear his voice
- A great road trip with that really fantastic road trip mix
- Jumping in feet first, anywhere!
- A good book on a rainy afternoon
- Bruises and bite marks after a good weekend
- Sunday evenings spent in front of a fire, with a movie and someone to cuddle with.
- Saying I love you, and meaning it!
- The beep of a text message
- The first kiss, that really good one.
- A good debate.
- Cards in the mail. I get so much junk mail so that when someone sends me a card I’m in heaven. And if it’s a postcard from an exotic locale I will love them forever.
- Holding hands walking down the street
- The feel of the Arizona Sun on you.
- The smell of the ocean
- The way as soon as I see San Diego I feel like I’m finally home
- Being able to fit into a size jeans smaller than the last I bought
- Shoes. Best way to cheer me up is take me shoe shopping. Just put me in a pair of fuck me heels and I’m sold!
- That smile that just won’t go away after that perfect first date.
- Mimosas. Any day of the week!
- A good scary movie and someone whose lap I can jump into when I’m scared.
- When someone kisses the back of my shoulder when I’m sleeping…
- Skinny dipping.
- Watching the sun set over the ocean. Any ocean.
- A new hit on my blog.
- My camera… damn do I ever love taking pictures!
- Kickboxing. There is something about boxing all your demons out that really makes me smile!
- Finding 5 dollars in last years winter coat
- Getting a person on the phone instead of a recording when you call customer service.
- And pretty much anything involving my family and friends!!!

So go forth on your Saturday and smile to your hearts desire because there always is tomorrow to be cynical and jaded. Why not spend one day with your rose colored glasses on!

Cinderella goes to the ball!

2008-11-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

Here is the story of how Mr. Military took this Cinderella to the ball, The United States Marine Corps Ball that is.

When Mr. Military found out that I would be down in San Diego for the weekend he invited me to be his guest as the Marine Corps Ball. He had suddenly this week found himself without a date and due to the fact that I look good in a cocktail dress and have an aversion to both guns and the military he thought that I would be a fun date. And I thought about men in white dress uniform looking dapper and sexy… well turns out that the Marine Corps has navy dress uniforms, and although the did look pretty dapper in the them with white gloves and little hats, I was most interested in the woman that they came with. Now these woman, military girlfriends and wives were a different sort than I was use to, and well a species all unto themselves. It was obvious that for many of them this was the highlight of their year… and it was painfully obvious that many of them were so young they thought of this ball as another prom or a glorified night out clubbing. The dresses ran the gamut from full on prom gowns (some complete with gloves and tacky plastic shoes!) to a white ballerina outfit (I kid you not it was a white corset top and a very shot tutu on the bottom) to a mermaid green skintight ass short dress that was more appropriate on a tranny hooking herself on Hollywood Blvd than a formal military ball.

But despite the inappropriateness of many of the dates what I walked away from the evening with was the deep sense of tradition that these men have. It was the 233rd Anniversary of the Marines, and with fitting of a “birthday” of this magnitude there were speeches and birthday cake! Though I did have to contain myself from laughing each time one of the men wished another happy birthday… Luckily Mr. Military finally explained it to me, otherwise I’m sure I would have made an idiot of myself and asked one of them about their “birthday”… But despite my confusion with some of the rituals (and my distaste for the Commandants speech, which seemed more like a recruiting video at it’s worst) I have to say my favorite part of the evening was the tradition of the cake. First I have to say that the cake is cut by an actually SWORD which is pretty freakin cool all by itself, but after it is cut the oldest marine in the squadron (Born September 20, 1961) took a bite and then passed it to the youngest marine (Born December 12, 1989). A passing of the sword so to speak. And maybe it might have been my exhausted, hungover and emotional state but it started to bring a tear to my eye.

Now though if the first part of the evening was about tradition and history the end part of was about youth and tackiness. Let me tell you about the dancing, more specifically let’s go back to my favorite hooker tranny wannabe in the mermaid dress who decided to try out her new stripper moves on the dance floor. She would have looked more appropriate dancing at Crazy Horse, but instead she was gyrating right in front of the commanding officers table. Pretty shortly after a few girl on girl moves a crowd had formed around her. And as I looked around the room you could see everyone staring at her with a horrified expression on their face, it was like a train wreck- you just couldn’t look away! But what caught my attention most was the Commanding Officers Wife. Unlike most of the woman in the room she was dressed with class, befitting an officer of his caliber and was busy trying to convince him to tell this woman to stop dancing. And seeing as he was hesitant to say anything she did what everyone else in the room wanted to do, she walked right up to our mermaid hooker and told her it was time to stop that dancing. I almost stood up and applauded.

Seeing as the floor show was over, Mr. Military and I got up and left the ball. But on the drive home I was struck by two things, one was that all these young men would give their life for this country. But on the flip side I also was stuck by the idea that all these young men, some 10 years younger than me, would also kill for this country. And at the end of an evening watching them interact with the people that they loved the most, that was a really sobering thought.

Semper Fidelis!

Don't forget...

2008-11-07T23:26:00.000-08:00

Today was the funeral for one of my best friends while I was in high school… we’ve lost touch over the years. But sitting here this afternoon I can’t remember exactly why. Maybe it was distance. Maybe it was time. Maybe it was we’ve changed so much from the people that we once were. But until recently we kept up to date with each others life through myspace, as we are all seem to do with old friends… had tried to go to various Buck-O-Nine concerts over the years but just haven’t been able to make it happen. She died suddenly last week, complications due to diabetes that she didn’t even know that she had. She was only 30… and it got me to thinking about her and all the friends I have lost touch with. Some due to circumstances, some due to choice, and some sadly due to fate.

Monica and I had a tendency to get ourselves into trouble back in the days. The time she baked pot brownies for our Senior 6 to 6. Or all those Friday nights selling football programs for my father. Or maybe the best was the time we decided to put a spell on a boy to fall in love with me. I don’t remember the boy, though I do remember that it didn’t work! But that was Monica for you. Always ready to jump in and create a little mischief with me. All those years at Soma to see bands (any ska band that came to town could find us in front row skanking), days of switching clothing (we were the same size and both into our faux punk look), weekends spent at debate tournaments (yea we both were geeks) and at various play rehearsals… She really was there to shape my high school life and I sit here today devastated that I allowed so many years to go by… too many years. And yet too late to do anything about it.

Last year I lost someone who was one of my best friends and I said that I wouldn’t let years and distance come between friends again. But I once again have gotten lazy… I’ve lost touch with more friends this year. I often have a tendency to shrink into my head and not let anyone in. So learn from me. Tell those that you love that you love them. Pick up that phone and call the friend you haven’t talked to in days, months, years- it doesn’t matter. Send that facebook request to your bestie from the good old days… whatever it takes to make it happen. Because we all have lost too many people in our lives to stay complacent about it. To all my friends, I love you all. You mean more to me than most of you even know… and now I think it’s time to get out of my head, out of my past, and out of my emotions and get back to living life. I will see you all soon… and as for tonight, the first shots for Monica.

Handprints on the glass...

2008-10-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

On my drive home from San Diego today I got to thinking about great sex… we’ve all had enough bad sex, and mediocre sex and just going-through-the-motions sex to really appreciate it when it gets GOOD… But it’s hard to pinpoint what it is that makes it good. I’ve had horrible sex with guys I’ve been in love with and fantastic sex with guys I haven’t. I’ve been with large, small, pierced, circumcised, uncircumcised… I’ve had the passionate sex and the crazy positions and the interesting locales… but sometimes it’s just great without a reason. Because great passion doesn’t always come from great love. Though great love does some times result in great passion… That passion though, often comes from some place else, the question is where?

It then got me to thinking about sexual ruts. Yea I know, I had way too much time on my hands during my drive home but we all get into a rut sometimes with our partners. We see them in and out most days, and sometimes the sex life becomes just as routine as the rest of our life… but if you don’t have a chance to get into a rhythm or a rut with someone, does that mean it will stay good. Or is it only good right now for me, because there isn’t a chance to get into a rut. Because I will admit it- I’ve been having some pretty fantastic sex lately. And although there is an attempt to make it a weekly “routine” so far there isn’t anything routine about it. It’s crazy, out of the box, passionate handprints on the glass door kind of sex... But as much as I love a good crazy night of sex, there also is a moment that I crave more than that, it’s the moment while I am sleeping. It’s the moment when someone reaches for me in the middle of the night, and just as they are snuggling close I can feel a kiss on the back of my shoulder. It’s the moment that I feel a tug at my heartstrings. Because it’s not done to get anything back. It’s not done to initiate sex. It’s done just because they just can’t keep their lips off of you. And it’s the moment that makes me keep coming back. Back to good sex. Back to bad sex. And back to sex that I know is bad for me. So for all the naysayer out there that this week have asked me, what the hell are you doing- it’s that moment. That is what I’m doing…

Postcards from the edge

2008-10-18T23:21:00.000-07:00

Ok I guess its confession time. I was hoping to delay it. Partly because I know I will get flack from my girls for it and partly because he still reads my blogs, but here goes- I spent part of the week in San Diego with (gasp!) Mr. Green. Now it’s not what you are probably thinking. It wasn’t a last ditch effort to try and convince him to make us work. In fact over the last few weeks I realized that’s never going to happen. I’ve also realized that as much as I would like that, it’s probably not what I need in my life right now. I’ve finally gotten my life back on track and am thoroughly enjoying having my mojo back… including enjoyed having cute men send over bottles of champagne during nights out with my girls this week. But that’s an entirely different story, lets get back to the one with Mr. G and my road trip down south… For the first time since probably our first date I was able to just spend time with him and enjoy that time. There weren’t any worries of when will I see him again, or where is this going or the dreaded why don’t you want to be in a relationship talk. Instead there was just some food, some laughs and some great sex… yes I said it, we did have sex, sex in the living room, sex in the bedroom, sex on the kitchen table... I mean come on, you know I wasn’t going down there for DINNER! The only negative thing that came out of my trip was I realized just how much time this summer I wasted trying to figure out what was going on between us instead of just enjoying what we had. I spent way too much time pushing him away. Too much time trying to make him into the “boyfriend” and not enough time just enjoying who he was. And it seems that now that I can take out the expectations, what I am left with is someone who I enjoy spending time with, someone who I am able to have political discussions with, someone who enjoys eating as much as I do (yea I know that’s odd, but such a plus), someone who really doesn’t mind the extra weight on my middle but instead finds my insanely sexy just as I am, and most importantly someone whom I’m very sexually compatible with. Not to mention he did look very sexy leaving for work in a suit on Friday morning...

And it was nice to know that he missed me, and yes for once it was him telling me how much I was missed! And it was nice that for once he wanted me to stay longer instead of thinking of me as someone he had to entertain and a chore. In fact within 20 minutes of me being there he was trying to get me to call in sick the next day so we could spend more time together. And it was nice for once to get an invite down to San Diego, he has since suggested we make this more of a weekly arrangement. Something I could definitely get use to… but for now I’m just happy the way things are going in my life. And maybe there will be a new romance, I have drinks with Mr. USC next week, maybe there will be an old romance rekindled… but for now it’s nice to know that at this moment I really am just happy.

And on leaving Mr. G’s place Friday morning I went to get a glass of water from the fridge and had to smile at what was on it, the post card I had sent from Jamaica. Because as much as he had tried in these last few weeks to make me think he was happy to have me out of his life, I certainly wasn’t forgotten… and that also is nice to know.

My best of New York!

2008-10-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

A friend called today asking for food suggestions while he was in New York… which got me to thinking about my favorite places that I use to haunt while I lived there. So I put together a list for him of the best of New York. Now you have to remember he is a straight guy in his mid 20's, from San Diego who spends more time smoking pot than in restaurants that demand a tie. In fact when I asked him what kind of food he was looking for his exact response was more like the burger and fry places… so here is the list of my best places for comfort food. Oh and deserts because every time I hang out with him the date will always end with Ice Cream!

Best Fries:
Pomes Frites
123 Second Avenue (St. Marks Place Area, East Village)
http://www.pommesfrites.ws/
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say one of the best fries in the WORLD not just in New York. You're only option is Regular, Large or Double Belgium Fries, but the real reason to go is for one of the almost 30 dipping sauces that you can choose from. My personal favorite was a mix of salsa and mayo and was to die for!!!

Best Burger:
Cozy Soup and Burger
739 Broadway (Washington Square Area, Village)
http://www.cozysoupnburger.com/
Now this burger (and burger joint) is by no means fancy or exotic. Here is the reason I love it- it's loosely packed ground beef so if you get the cheese burger the cheese melts all the way through the burger instead of being just on top. So it becomes a cheesy burger vs. a cheese burger. This also was a favorite of mine due to it's location in the Village and its closeness to both NYU and all the dorms- plus it stayed up all night!

Best BBQ:
Virgil's
152 W. 44th Street (Time Square Area)
http://www.virgilsbbq.com/
Now many people think that this place is too touristy, but one of the reasons I loved it is because I worked on Broadway and off-Broadway for many years and it was close to where I worked and had amazing food. Now I was never that into BBQ, but was obsessed with their Train Wreck Fries- Cheddar Cheese, Bacon, Scallions, Jalapeños and Ranch Dressing!

Best Hot Dog:
Grays Papaya
402 6th Ave. (Washington Square Area, West Village)
2090 Broadway (71st Street, Upper West Side)
Now I'm sure there are other amazing dogs out there in NY (and many will say nothing can come close to a Chicago Hot Dog) but Grays Papaya is an institution in New York, especially when you are a college student on a budget or drunk with the munchies in the wee hours of the morning.

Best Wings:
Firehouse
522 Columbus Ave. (Upper East Side)
http://firehousetavern.com/
Their Sexy Fries and Buffalo Wings are amazing…. Especially when you dip the fries in the buffalo sauce. Wings come in flavors of Mild, Medium, Hot, Inferno, Jerk, Bubba or BBQ. And wash it all down with an ice cold beer!

Best Bar:
Swifts
34 E. 14th Street (lower Village)
This Irish Pub is by far the most laid back one in the city… with sessions every Tuesday Night (at least they use to when I was in school). Now this one was my personal Cheers so that's why it made my list. But like Pizza places, every corner in New York has another cool bar. My personal favorites are more pub/dive less trendy 15 dollar cosmo places.

TIE Best Deserts:
Veniero's
342 E. 11th Street (East Village)
http://www.venierospastry.com/
Best Italian Bakery… Enough Said!

TIE Best Deserts:
Serendipity
225 E. 60th Street (Upper East Side)
http://www.serendipity3.com/main.htm
This is the corner ice cream shop that you have only dreamed about… World renounced for their Frozen Hot Chocolate. Usually there is a huge wait, but it is open until 3am and the wait does go down in the later hours, but it's worth every minute of it!

Best Pizza:
Joe's
7 Carmine Street
http://www.famousjoespizza.com/
This one is my personally favorite… but in New York you can't throw a stone without hitting a good pizza place. The key is that it's more like a Pizza Stand and less like a restaurant. You want thin crust and very greasy!

Dive or Bust... Days 7 and 8

2008-09-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Our last full day was packed with activity… after another early start I had an extremely long swim in the ocean along the shore. Though I did sort of underestimated the current and on the way back, I admit I did have a bit of the panic when I realized I was out in the middle of the ocean, with no one around me, no real shore to swim to and lot and lots of chances to get eaten by a shark… luckily I made it back to my finish without harm. But spent the rest of the morning sunning myself in the pool.

After lunch we headed out to Negril for a little shopping and Ricks. Ricks Café was my one must do on the island. It’s a huge bar that is known for their cliff diving. I was envisioning a very Traveling Pants type moment with all of us jumping off the cliff together. But by the time we got there everyone else seemed to manage to injure themselves and thought that a jump of the cliff was not in their best interest. But once again I trekked through and did the jump! Mind you I wasn’t able to do the very high one but did manage the lower and middle ones, and I have to say 30 feet was enough for me! A little disappointed in myself that I didn’t have the nerve to do the highest one, but knew I was probably pushing my luck if I tried that one. And going home in a cast was not what was on my to do list for this trip! But after doing my 3 jumps I was able to sit back, have a beer and listen to the reggae music while watching the sun set… and I have to say I was in heaven!!!

Now I’m just sitting outside on our last day (day 8!) and enjoying a little of the sun before we leave. I’m sad to be leaving what I can only describe as Paradise. I had an amazing time on this island! I’ve had lots of girl time but I’ve also had plenty of time to myself to kind of think and figure out things in my life. Lots and lots of revelations, some good…. Some not so good. And I think I might finally be brave enough to make a few changes in my life when I get back. I’m nervous, scared and excited at the same time. I’m started a new chapter in my life, and luckily I’m going to be able to start it with a nice tan!

XXOO,
Hardt

Pearls before swine… Jamaica Day 4

2008-09-10T18:38:00.000-07:00

4 days in Paradise really have started to give me perspective on my life…. Maybe because it’s given me time to think, living without TV, phone, and bad internet connection will do that to you. Maybe because I’ve seen how much of my life I take for granted and how many things are really unnecessary… or maybe it’s because I was bitten by my prince charming- Literally since my horse named Prince bit me in the leg today. I realized many things on my journey so far, the first being I need to start to look at things more half full than half empty. Since breaking up with Mr. NakedBartender I’ve fallen into this depression of sorts about being “single and without kids”… but the fact of the matter is I have my entire life ahead of me. I realized this week how exciting it is to know that I have my best moments ahead of me. That moment when I meet the man I’m going to marry, the look my father will give me as he give me away on my wedding day, seeing my children for the first time, meeting my grandchildren… All those great moments, are ahead of me. It’s not depressing or sad not having had those yet, it’s exhilarating knowing that those are just around the corner or even just around a lifetime!

Except for my revelations, today has been pretty chill… I once again woke up around 5 to watch the sunset, had a cup of coffee and then decided to head back to bed until around 8. We were off at 10 to go Horseback riding on the Paradise Plantation. And I have to say there is something to be said for riding a horse through the beach looking up at the mountains of Jamaica. After our ride through the plantation we headed back to the house for what was the best Jerk Chicken Lunch I have ever experienced! Seriously trying to figure out how to sneak the chef back into the country in my suitcase!!!!

After lunch we tried to venture out into the water, but due to a crazy current, a high tide due to an incoming storm and a little accident that happened to Stitz (her second fall of the trip but at least her legs match on bruises and scrapes!) we decided to scratch the swim and instead just headed into our own pool, where multiple “fruity rum drinks” we brought to us on a silver tray… tonight will be another low key night of playing cards and listening to reggae because tomorrow will be another jam packed day- A trip down the Dune River, hiking up YS falls, and then a boat ride to Pelican Bar which is located 20 minutes off shore on a sand bar!

Despite all the fun… really missing everyone back home! So once again sending my love from the Islands… wish everyone was here with me today!

XXOO,
Hardt

PS Animal Count as of Day 4: A cow without a tail, a black hawk and these crazy crabs that were swarming the beach! Though the best part of the day, my horse was named Prince and he BIT me. I met a prince and only ended up with a bite mark...kind of telling, Right?!

Ya Mon… Jamaica Day 3

2008-09-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

There is only one word I need to use to describe today- WOW! Started off my morning at 5 am by once again having coffee over looking the ocean. Another crazy storm had gone through over night but by five it was peaceful and calm, with a perfect breeze and not a cloud in the sky as the sun rose over the mountains. I have to say I love that when I get up there is coffee waiting for me and the table set for our 6am breakfast… There was an early start this morning since we were off zip lining in the Rainforest just outside of Ochos Rios, a nice two and a half hour drive from Bluefields. So after breakfast, we were packed into our van and we were off on our adventure. Once again during the journey I was overwhelmed by the traditions here in Jamaica. I watched all the school children in the freshly pressed and colorful uniforms heading off to school on the busses and all their parents waiting for those same buses to take them to work. There were men carrying bags of rice on the road, groups of guys heading into construction jobs on plenty of new resorts, and woman in uniforms heading to the ones that already existed.

Around 9:30 we finally reached Chauka for our zip lining tour, met our guides (Anthony, Junior and the oh so delectable Andrew) and hoped into this open backed safari van and headed up the mountain. Getting up there was interesting all in itself, straight up a mountain dirt road and we finally got to catch a glimpse of the locals smoking some ganja! Upon arrival at the top of the mountain I was harnessed a little tightly into my gear, making me wish I didn’t partake so much in the pork chops and mango run drinks the night before! But quickly we learned why so tight! The entire experience was mind-blowing… just clipped onto a rope hanging between trees and zipping down a mountain gave me a rush I’ve never experienced. Unfortunately I quickly earned the nickname “Brave One” from our tour guides, and let’s just say if it was possible to make me go down at lightening speed on some of the runs they did! Let me tell you the one that I went just straight down on I almost pee’d my pants because instead of using the break at the bottom on me they just let me drop… and FAST! It was an experience I will never forget, and one that has me so ready for my next adventure in heights- Sky Diving. Though that one will have to wait until I get back to the states, I’m adventuresome not stupid!

After hiking back towards basecamp we stopped, changed, and had a picnic lunch. Once again grateful for our chef, because instead of the Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches that you would expect, we had homemade banana nut bread and the most amazing breaded chicken that I have ever had! Though part of that might have been because I worked up an appetite and part of that might have been because our driver even gave it to us on china with real silverware! And the highlight of our packed lunch- the cooler they packed us with water, sodas, and BEER!

Once our tummies were full we were ready to adventure out again. This time to Dune River Falls were we thought we would do a little hiking around a waterfall. WRONG. Instead our guide took us on a hike straight up a 600 foot waterfall. We had to hold hands like school children and then climbed straight against the current through the water. It was exhilarating, amazing and frightening all at the same time!

After an exhausting day, I’m once again laying in bed listening to the waves and the jungle as my eyes are slowly starting to close… tomorrow will bring an exciting new adventure of Horseback Riding on the beach, a lie out by the pool and then a nice little kayak in the ocean… can’t wait to wake up to another day in Paradise!

Sending all my love from the Islands,
XXOO
Hardt

PS- Additional animals to add to my count: A donkey, lots of crazy bugs including the one who flew out of my towel at me at 5:00 this morning wanting to play, peacocks- including a white one that I didn’t know even existed and I kid you not- Sheep!

Club Paradise, Jamaican Style… Day 2

2008-09-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

Day 2 was one of the most relaxing days of my life… it pretty much just involved lazing around, drinking rum drinks that were brought to me on a silver tray (by our favorite butler Aldean), catching up on my reading and emails, swimming in the pool and basically just staring at the clouds and waves.

I started off the morning being woken up by one of the most amazing sounds in the world- the sounds of waves crashing along the beach mixed with intense rain. It seems that the tail of Hurricane Ike had finally arrived on my small Island… I laid in bed for hours just listening to the sound of the wind and watching the lightning on the water- oh yes I can just open my doors and there is the ocean! There is something to be said for French doors that just open into Paradise. I’m about as far away from Los Angeles as possible! Luckily the bulk of the storm happened around 4am so by 7 I was sitting outside on the veranda with my coffee just staring at the turquoise water wondering how I’m ever going to be able to leave this place. One of the best things about this Villa is that there are no windows, at least glass ones that is. And upstairs is just a completely open house. There are some walls, a few doors leading to other rooms but the rooms just open up to outside. It reminds me of living in a tree house.

The rest of the day flew by in a haze of Planters Punch, sun and rain…Throughout the day the storm would start up again and we’d have to pack up all our gear and head inside, though really with the well trained staff it was more like they packed up our gear for us while we waited where it was dry! I have to say it’s one of the oddest things to have a “staff”… here at Bluefields there are about 10 people that rotate in and out throughout the day, all here just to make sure we have everything we need and that we don’t have to lift a finger for anything… and although it is something I could get use to, I don’t think I would like it day after day because the truth of the matter is you are never alone because there is someone constantly watching after you… and sometimes I just like to be alone. Luckily there is a private patio right off my bedroom where I was able to get a little private sun time (aka without my bikini top on) so I will be able to go back to the states minus tan lines, yay!

Though as amazing as it’s been to have nothing to do, I will admit I did start to go a little stir crazy by the end of the day… I did get to take an amazing walk along the footpath up and down the neighboring Villas and really watch the storm progress. And of course I took a million pictures of every little thing I saw and every small wave crashing on the beach. It was amazing to walk and not see anyone, no hear any noise except the waves, to just smell the amazing salt air and rain. I originally thought to go on a run, but it was just so breath taking I actually had to just stop and enjoy everything all around me. For the first time in a really long time, I was able to really just stop. And it felt amazing!

Since it was too stormy to go into town we didn’t even make it to the market today, much less snorkeling and cliff diving. So all that has been shifted to Friday and luckily tomorrow we are off at 6am to Zip Line through the rainforest and then off to what is supposed to be the Niagara Falls of Jamaica! I’m nervous, excited and scared all at the same time! Basically just having the time of my life and can’t wait to see what adventure tomorrow will bring. It has started to rain once again and I can feel my eyes getting sleepy...

So until tomorrow...
Sending my love from the Islands!
XXOO,
Hardt

PS Additional Animal Count today: My new friend the crab that followed me on my entire walk along the beach today, our 3 dogs that have now grown to 5 dogs (which all seem to like to sleep right outside my door), a really cool Pelican which spent most of its day right in front of the villa looking for food and of course the really loud frogs right outside my window that like to remind me that yes I am in a Jungle and not at home in LA!

Jamaican me crazy...Day 1

2008-09-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

After a long day tending bar for college football the last thing I wanted to hear Saturday afternoon was that my flight to Jamaica was delayed… after a nerve racking couple of weeks watching hurricanes come in and out of the area I was starting to get nervous that I would have a week of rain, flooding and come back as white as I had left. So with the delay you can imagine how happy I was to just finally be on my way to the airport…. Suitcase, check. Wallet, check. Passport, check. And we were finally off…. Until we checked in at the airport. Luck would have it the one person doing the passport checks on all of us had left hers at home! So while the rest of us bellied up to the bar to start our early Jamaican festivities, poor Janice was stuck rushing home to get hers. To only find out that as soon as she had her passport in hand, of course the car wouldn’t start! But finally she was on her way, in the second car of the evening… yea we are finally on our way to Jamaica. Well of course that was after our 3 hour delay in the airport… we were tired but didn’t care-we were FINALLY on our way to Jamaica.

And boy was the wait worth it. This island is breath taking… I am currently sitting out on the patio off of my bedroom, over looking our pool and private cove just staring at the stars in the sky… and once again I am speechless. In less than 24 hours I have fallen in love with the land, the people and the way of life.

View from my bedroom

View out the other bedroom door

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself... let me go back to the beginning when we landed, in wonderful Montego Bay! Upon arriving (with no cloud in sight!) our driver Percy meet us at the airport with our rental van- a 12 person passenger van was needed to fit the 6 of us and all of our luggage! In the hour and half that it took to get from the airport to our Villa in Bluefield’s we went through town after town, and over mountains and through what can only be described as rainforests… I was first struck but how shockingly beautiful the poverty was in this county with everyone dressed in their Sunday best and the brightest clothes I have ever seen hanging on the clothes lines. How happy everyone seemed to be, no matter what their station in life was or what their job was that they were doing. We passed the smallest bars you have ever seen, little shack stores and houses on top of one another- almost all painted lively colors and with people sitting out on verandas just enjoying the Sunday breeze. Everyone was just walking along the narrow road, cars honking at one another, families waving to friends across the street. It was as if everyone had a smile on their face.

Montego Bay

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

And just when I thought I couldn’t fall more in love, we hit the Negril side of the island and the water. Let’s just say I basically swooned! It’s unbelievable how crystal clear and calm the water is… and how warm! Upon arriving at the villa we were greeted by the manager, our chef, our butler and more staff than you can imagine! We spent the morning and early afternoon in a transitional Villa since ours wasn't ready for us yet... best temporary accommodations I think have ever seen with staff coming in and out of it all day. Though our temporary Villa was nothing compared to Le Hermitage where we will be spending the next 8 days. A 4 bedroom Villa complete with infinity pool and the most amazing view that I've ever seen. Plus you can't beat staying at an old Pirates Lair! And when they say fully staffed villas they aren’t kidding. In the last 12 hours we have had every need tended to. We’ve swam in the pool, had drinks brought to us in the ocean, floated in the most clear water I will probably ever see, ocean kayaked along the shore, took a nap in a hammock right over the ocean...

Bluefields Bay

My own little piece of paradise!

La Hermitage

First nights dinner and our view from the dinning room

Sunset at diner

we've eaten the most amazing foods for lunch and dinner (Pineapple Lamb kabobs that I can't even being to describe!), drank more alcohol than I care to remember, stared at millions of stars, wished on at least one, and am now currently listening to the sounds of the jungle around me. It’s insane to think that less than 24 hours ago I was sitting in Los Angeles, amongst the smog and traffic and stressing myself over jobs and boys that don’t really matter. It seems now that all that matters is this moment. Nothing before this really has meant anything! Tomorrow we are off to another adventure… the boat picks us up at 10am to bring us to some off shore reef to snorkel, then it’s back to the villa for lunch, and then to what I’m dying to do- Ricks Café on the water and I will be cliff diving from the bar! And if I survive that it will be off to a Cocktail Party in the evening!

Sending my love from the islands!
XXOO,

Hardt

PS Animal Count so far: Goats, Cattle, Rosters, 3 dogs that live at the Villa right outside my bedroom, a half dozen lizards, pelicans and about every mosquito know to man which are currently having a late night snack of me!

My watch Dogs

On borrowed time...

2008-09-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

Late last night I got back from another fantasy weekend in San Diego with Mr. Green. I say fantasy because when I’m down there it seems I leave my reality and enter into this blissful “couple”. But like all fantasies they must come to an end, which of course happened last night over dinner. But first let me share moments of it before I burst your bubble. I have to start out with even though we have only been dating for 2 months we are disgustingly couply, more so than I would think given his aversion to being in a relationship. He reaches for my hand wherever we go, leans over for a kiss while driving, and while out at a restaurant my hands are usually inside his…. Though my favorite part of him is when he reaches for me in the middle of the night...So you can see where the line blurs between dating and relationship… and why it’s hard for me to bounce back and forth when I return to LA. Because when I'm in San Diego we have this amazing relationship... and when I'm in LA I just go back to being just that girl he sometimes has sex with.

I drove down on Saturday night already exhausted and annoyed with the situation. Lately I've been feeling like I'm more of a nuisance than a pleasure to him, so when I arrived in San Diego lets just say I was not in my best mood… but luckily after a couple of drinks and a little making out, he was able to snap me right out of it. We spent the first two days around other people, either his friends, roommates or my friends. Which was fine with me because I was hoping to show him that these weekends are possible without the stress of entertaining me and that we can still live our own lives and be together. The master plan was to implant in his head that these weekends in San Diego are not only possible but realistic. After all he travels so much for work, and I work not so much, so I have no problem doing a bit of the commuting. Easy enough for me to come down on a Friday afternoon and come back up on a Sunday Morning before I bartend for Sunday Football... So this weekend I got to catch up with friends while hiking, had lunch with his brother Mr. Green Sr. (Cotija, best Mexican EVER), meet up with old friends of mine from high school that I literally haven’t seen in years and got to meet many of his friends while out for his roommates birthday. Now I don’t remember many names, and I’m sure the faces are a little blurry (we did have a lot to drink), but what I did recall was that most of the ones he described as really great friends were couples. Interesting, and at the time I thought promising, turns out that was just wishful thinking!

Now if the first two days were spent around other people, Monday was spent blissfully alone. And after walking down to breakfast and laying around in bed doing nothing for the rest of the morning he took me on a surprise outing. The day before I had casually mentioned wanted to go to the aquarium, so after bugging him all morning to do something he said he had a surprise for me. And after practically being blindfolded I was led to the aquarium… a good surprise! And the entire time we were riding with my eye closed I was hoping that was where he would be taking me… The entire time he was like a little kid happy with his idea to surprise me, and I was like a little kid happy that I was with someone who wanted to surprise me! Now I won’t bore you with all the specifics on the weekend, but once again it was a perfect weekend in San Diego… Well perfect in my book, sure we did annoy each other at parts, and did argue a bit, give each other a lot of shit, and managed to be passed out before midnight on both nights… But I got some sun, spent some time on the beach, got a hike in, had some great sex… all in all accomplished what I had gone down there for… all except one little thing…

While at dinner last night I knew I needed to bring up the dreaded word “exclusive”… Now I need to start out by saying in Mr. Green’s defense he hasn’t been dating or sleeping with anyone else… which as nice as that is to know it also has pointed out to me that he could if he wanted to… and turns out that he still does want the opportunity too. He told me that he doesn’t know if he can be exclusive for awhile…. Which is fair, but it also was fair to tell him that our dating does have an expiration date which is coming up pretty soon. Because as much as I would like to just continue having fun together and having great sex and lots of laughs, the more time I spend with him the more I do actually like him. And the fact is I don’t want to be out there dating anyone else. He specifically asked about Mr. C&O, who I have been avoiding blogging about since Mr. Green does occasionally read my blogs. And although Mr. C seems like a great guy, the problem is I just have been avoiding our actual first date because it doesn’t feel right! And it’s not Mr. Greens permission that I needed (in fact I was a little disgusted when he told me that I should feel free to continue to date other people). It's like in the Break-up with their fight over the dishes, I just want him to NOT want me to date other people! But the real question is, how long can I wait for someone who probably isn’t ever going to want to be with just me? If after 2 months he doesn’t know, I think we both already have that answer… which is just plain old no I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. And maybe it’s because of the place he's at in his life, maybe it’s the distance, his age, my annoying pressuring of him or maybe it’s just me… I don't know if I will ever know. But for now I’m going to wait it out a bit longer because the truth of the matter is I do like him. And despite his lack of interest in commitment he is actually a really good guy, lets just see if he can transition into a great one.

But for now I head to Jamaica at the end of the week and plan on forgetting all my romantic issues. After that we shall just have to wait and see. After our conversation he said that he still wants to continue dating me and wants plan a weekend up here for us to go see Point Break Live… so cross your fingers and lets see if that happens. Maybe in the meantime he will realize that I might just be worth the leap he’s afraid to take… I just hope he realizes that in time!

Is this my life?

2008-08-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

Today I got to thinking about my life. What’s in it. What does it mean. Who I am. What I am… And where am I going to end up when this crazy rollercoaster that has been my life finally stops.

Filling out my passport paperwork I realized I don’t have a box - single, married, divorced… is there an undecided? A couple of months ago it was in a relationship and happy, but that feels more like a lifetime ago… now my box should be “dating” but in reality I’m really horrible at that. When the dating genes were given out, I sure was skipped! The only way I can describe myself is dating-retarded! I’m good at relationships but dating just leaves me baffled. I go on dates- some successful some not. I don’t seem to have trouble meeting men, it’s just meeting men that I actually want to be with that seems to be a little bit harder! I’ve been dating Mr. Green for about a month now but due to his schedule I won’t be seeing him in Los Angeles for at least another month if not more, so really we should say we are in limbo or on hold. Though from my experience when you are separated from someone for longer than you were together that usually means you are over. The true test will be to see if he actually invites me down to San Diego in that time... I have Mr. X who sends emails/texts/im’s/pictures from India and Thailand but really I don’t want more than just to be friends this time around. I will always love him, am looking forward to seeing him when he gets back in a couple weeks because really he’s been great this year- the perfect distraction that I needed to get back on my feet… but at the same time I realized he’s a great distraction, but right now I’m looking for something a little bit more. But for every moment where I’m unhappy being single I have another moment where I’m so happy I’m not in a relationship. I can go down to San Diego at a moments notice to visit friends, I can hop off to Jamaica without having to worry about checking in with anyone, I can have girls night where I go out and get my flirt on (plus multiple free drinks), I can spend my Sunday laying in bed doing nothing or I can get up and surf and hike and do yoga and not have to worry about what anyone else wants to do.

As for my age- I’m not quite 30 but at the same time I don’t feel like I’m in my 20’s anymore. I still have those impulses to go and get crazy and have wild nights… and lately it’s ended up like it did last weekend- in bed asleep by midnight! I have “jobs” but right now I can’t say I have a career (Occupation- Bartender? Swim Instructor? Surf Instructor? Babysitter? Yard Sale Specialist? Entertainment Assistant?). I was recently reminded of just how athletic I am… but at the same time I feel like I’ve never been lazier. I know I have packed on a few pounds lately… mostly because I’m, dare I say it, happy. Being in my post-relationship depression it was easy to eat crazy healthy and work out all the time… but lately I’ve found that ice cream calling to me and when the gym time rolls around a nice nap seems just as nice!

Really right now the only thing I do know is that I’ve somehow gotten off track… and I really don’t know how to get back on it. So I’ve decided to take the next 30 days and just really figure out what is going on in my life. I’ve also decided I really need to shake things up a bit, and more than just by trying a different class at the gym! And I don’t know if that means I need to give up alcohol, meat, men (GASP!), sex… But it definitely means I need to take some time by myself, without the outside voices interjecting on my life…. Because right now there sure are a lot! It seems everyone has an opinion on how I’m living my life, how I could do better, what I need to stop doing, what I need to not be thinking about… lately it’s become too much. Too much criticism. Too much advice. And really just too little Hardt. So check back in a month and see how much can change… I’ll just be getting back into the United States… I’ll hopefully have a nice tan and a flat stomach. Maybe a nice boy to come home to (and if not than I think I can be ok with that too). Hopefully a perfect job that lets my bank account get back into the positive numbers…. And hopefully a perfect ME.

Meeting the Parents... GASP!

2008-08-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

Now there comes a point in every relationship when you have to meet the parents. And it’s something every person dreads. For me I get especially worried after Mr. Wyoming’s Mother hated me and had no problem telling that to me face… though ironically he still doesn’t remember her ever not liking me. I’m not kidding when I tell you this woman use to call every night just when we were going to bed (or having sex) and he would freaking answer it- even if we were having sex! But that’s an entirely different relationship story… anyways Sunday morning Mr. Green meet my parents. Now in a normal circumstance it would be WAY too soon to meet them- especially since we are only just dating! But seeing as both myself and them live out of town and we all were in San Diego for the wedding the timing was just right. Though I have to say I originally I didn’t invite him to brunch because I know that I had been pressuring him too much lately to get the allusive commitment, and I figured meeting the family would send him over the edge. Plus he was going to be spending the weekend at wedding events with me, which was also a little bit of pressure for just a budding relationship. When I first mentioned the brunch I knew I had guessed correctly, he kind of froze and was like ok I’ll think about it. Which kind of was the answer I wanted for two reasons. One I didn’t think it was fair to introduce them to someone I was dating if it wasn’t serious… and two they never like anyone I’ve ever dated and I just can’t deal anymore with having to justify and defend someone to my family. But as the weekend progressed (and he luckily missed meeting them at both the Out of Town Guests drinks reception and at the end of the wedding) he started to change his mind…And Saturday night after the wedding (before I passed out drunk, the poor guy!) he decided that he was ready to meet them in the morning… though of course that’s not saying it was easy to drag his ass out of bed Sunday morning! I once again told him he could sleep in and I would meet up with him when I was done, but he surprisingly rallied and met them with me at the Green Flash for breakfast. But what was even more surprising was the fact that my family seemed to really like him. My Mom is still not sold, but only because of the fact that he lives in San Diego. She kept saying he seems really great, nice, handsome… but he’s not local (as if I needed her to ONCE again remind me of that one!). And she made a point to mention that he was 10 times better than Mr. NakedBartender ever was … but the person that I was most shocked with was my father. He first got on the phone and was upset because I didn’t call and ask him what he had thought of Mr. Green. Oh great, here it is I thought… but what he said was that he really liked him, thought he was great. And of course his little input on my ex’s was- I like Mr. Green, and you know I never liked Mr. Arizona. Which wasn’t a surprise since in the last 2 years of us being together my father actually REFUSED to talk him. Mr. Arizona would come over to my parent’s house for many events and holidays and would barely acknowledge his existence! And here is my Dad calling to say that he actually (GASP) approves of someone I’m dating… seriously hell might have frozen over down there in San Diego over the weekend. Or it could be that I’m actually dating a good guy?! Though as we all know I have been drastically wrong before when saying that statement, so really only time will tell...

I see dead people!

2008-07-20T21:53:00.000-07:00

Last night I found myself enjoying not only one of my favorite summer activities but one of the top things to do in Los Angeles- Classic Movie Screenings at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. For those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about (and if that is true, run don’t walk to the cemetery this Saturday or Sunday!) the Hollywood Forever Cemetery opens its gates on Saturday and Sundays for screenings of Classic Movies (mostly camp and horror). It screens it onto the back of one of the mausoleums on the great lawn. It sounds morbid but in fact it is incredibly fun! They open the gates an hour and half before the screening (though I recommend getting there really early because it often maxes out) and with a DJ playing in the background you can enjoy your own picnic dinner. And it has the distinction of being one of the few places in LA where you can enjoy alcohol with your picnic! But lets get back to my Saturday… Mr. Green and I set out to enjoy Clockwork Orange under the stars… in hindsight maybe not the best “date” movie, but since all of our dates had been unconventional (except maybe seeing Batman the previous evening) it seemed only appropriate that we see one of the most sexually disturbing movies of all times. So before heading to the screening we made a stop by at Whole Foods to pack ourselves the perfect dinner- well my version of the perfect dinner: Brie, Guda, A Tomato-Cheese Spread, Salami, Crackers, a Rosemary Olive Baguette, Hummus, Tabouli (my first time tasting it and have to say I’m kind of a fan now!), and mini healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies… oh and don’t let me forget two bottles of Chardonnay. After that it was off to the movies! The movie was even better than I remembered (though a little more disturbing!) but let me tell you it really was just about the perfect way to spend a Saturday Evening- A great movie, a couple of bottles of wine, some cheese, and Mr. Green to cuddle with under the stars… Now if only all Saturdays could be spent that way, I’d have a very happy Hardt.

San Diego Happy Hour- Millers Field

2008-07-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

Millers Field
4465 Mission Blvd.,
San Diego, California, 92109
(858) 483-4143
Rating: On a scale of 1 – 4 shots
Overall- 3 Shots

Location- 0 Shots (if you live in LA) though 3 ¾ shots if you live in San Diego. This one is literally stumbling distance from Pacific Beach (between Garnet and Grand if you know anything about PB). A ¼ shot was deducted because it’s not literally on the beach, but from the outdoor patio on the 2nd floor you will be able to get a glimpse of the ocean!

Atmosphere- 2 shots. I actually choose this bar because it was fairly empty. Though mind you I was doing my happy hour during a non-happy hour at this bar on a Sunday afternoon in July. All the bars along the beach were rocking, and having to kill some time alone I actually was looking to just sit outside, have a beer and read a magazine. They also have free wi-fi so I have a feeling I’m not the only dork that has stumbled into that bar looking to relax with a beer alone!

Drinks- 3 Shots. I only had a Hefeweizen but I noticed that they do have really cheap Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s on Saturday and Sunday mornings until 1pm. Just wished that the weekend happy hour went a little longer!

Food- 2 1/2 shots. I only tried the French Fries (which mind you were actually really good) but it was pretty much standard bar fare without any healthy food other than the salads. I was looking for some kind of quick veggies but was FORCED to go for the greasy fries instead.

Bartenders- 3 1/2 Shots. Although they were not the attractive bartenders that you usually find in Los Angeles they were very quick and very attentive. I got my fries, my beer, and my check right away! And I wasn’t made to feel like a loser to be spending my early Sunday evening in a bar alone reading.

A special thanks to the Las Vegas Airport for making my trip to Millers Field happen… if Chris hadn’t gotten stuck on the runway I would never have had time to enjoy a little San Diego Happy Hour!

Hardt takes public Transportation

2008-07-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

After living in Los Angeles the last 7 years I’ve come to think of Public Transportation as something that other people ride on… and more often than not am just upset when I’m stuck behind one of those horrible old buses that make a stop at every freaking corner! But today I adventured up from San Diego on a train, a metro, and a trolley… And I have to say it was kind of fun. The morning started out on the Pacific Liner down in San Diego at 7:10am. Luckily it was pretty empty so I got a row to myself with a prime window that would look out on the ocean when we drove by. As soon as I got on I also noticed that it not only had seat trays, a foot rest, but it also had a plug so I could power up my phone and computer. YAY… and internet access when I connected to random wireless along the route! Though I didn’t get to use it that much since rafter a weekend of not getting enough sleep I was passed out before we started and woke up with only about 45 min left on the ride… double YAY.

When I got off the train in LA I realized that I still wasn’t able to get a hold of anyone to pick me up so I though- I’ll take the metro, that sounds like fun, right?! And actually it was. I took the Metro Red Line to North Hollywood and was unbelievably clean, fast, and air-conditioned! Within 15 minutes I was at the North Hollywood Station, followed the signs across the street and immediately boarded this trolley/bus hybrid (the Orange Metroliner). And once again it was unbelievably clean, fast and air-conditioned. The only part of the adventure that wasn’t clean, fast and air-conditioned was my walk from the Metroliner stop home. Luckily it was a beautiful day, my bag wasn’t too heavy, and it was only 1.2 miles through a rather nice neighborhood. So 20 minutes later I finally found myself home, exhausted, but happy with that state of public transportation in this city… and although I wouldn’t want to do this on a daily basis there is nothing better than a Monday spend adventuring!

True Destination Dating

2008-07-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Over the last week I’ve spent some time getting to know Mr. Green a little bit better. Which has been hard seeing as I live in Los Angeles and he lives in San Diego, and was even further away in Las Vegas for a long weekend. So “getting to know” mainly consisted of emails, myspacing, facebooking, iming, and drunk text messaging… which you know is never a good thing early on when you are trying to get to know someone! And which of course lead me to where I am right now- Early Monday morning on the train coming up from San Diego. Oh yes, after a weekend of drunken texting we decided to make date number two in San Diego… Some thing decided while he was drunk on Friday night and I was exhausted from too many birthday celebrations. The timing worked out perfectly, I would be able to drive down with friends that were in town on Sunday afternoon and then take the train back up on Monday morning (his treat of course!)… So really having nothing to lose, I hoped into the car with my girls for a road trip and jaunted down for the day.

Now I came down to San Diego on Sunday with little expectations. After all we don’t really know each other yet, he’s a proven player (and as I was reminded by a friend Saturday I myself have spent the summer enjoying dating and the single life a little too much), the younger brother of one of my guy friends, 4 years younger than me and way too similar to the type of guys that I usually date- which we all know always ends up in a ball of flame somewhere down the line. But once again Mr. Green surprised me and we had a great time on what can only be described another unconventional date. The first one was a 25 hour whirlwind in Los Angeles and Disneyland and the 2nd one turned out to be 12 hours in San Diego consisting of: meeting him at the airport with his brother (since his flight was an hour delayed getting out of Vegas), dinner (Thai food, cute place, extra points for sharing food), watching the sun set over the ocean in Pacific Beach (another extra point for indulging me in my romantic notions and keeping me warm), doing his laundry (very romantic I know, but I was there in the only 12 hour window he had between playing with the boys in Vegas and a working trip in Chicago so we didn’t deduct points for that one), a jaunt to La Jolla to pick up my stuff from a friend (and his third set of points for not complaining about going especially since there was the possibility of me getting us lost finding her place) and then finally back to his place to watch a movie and pass out after a long exhausting weekend. Not your conventional date, but a memorable one none-the less. And this morning after a quick trip to Starbucks he dropped me off at the train before heading to the airport himself. And with a smile on my face I sit here enjoying a nice relaxing train ride back up North thinking that maybe there is something to this destination dating after all! This morning we discussed the possibility of date number three being down in Dana Point. Halfway between our two cities, and right on the water so we can kayak to the tide pools and explore some caves up around Laguna… The only question is- can two people from two far away cities who both have commitment issues manage to throw caution to the wind and actual try dating? I don’t know the answer to that one yet, and for once I’m going to take my time before jumping into anything, but for now I sure am going to enjoy finding out that answer!

Once upon a time...

2008-07-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

Now we all know how much I love birthdays, especially mine. And every year I kind of try and one up myself with how to celebrate it… but if you had told me that I would start celebrating this years with a whirlwind 24 hour first date I would have laughed at you… if you had then told me that it would be with someone I went to Green Elementary with, I would have known you were making something up. Add the fact that he’s the younger brother of one of my friends would put you maybe in the crazy category. And if you had told me that I had only previously hung out with him for roughly 30 minutes 2 months ago, and that he would drive up from San Diego to go to Disneyland than I would have said you were insane… But I would definitely have had you committed if you had told me I had a fantastic time! But it would be the truth…So here is a top ten list from one of the most fun first dates… and seeing as he does occasionally read my blogs (as does his brother!) I can’t kiss and tell (though he did ask that I put in that the first kiss was on Mr. Toads Wild Ride!) here are the 10 highlights of my date with Mr. Green:

10) ROCK BAND- The previous evening he was given the choice of a night out at crazy trendy LA hotspots or staying in and playing Rock Band with 7 of my girlfriends. And he actually chose to stay in and geek it out with the rest of us. First point in his favor!

9) Getting stuck right at the end of the Haunted Mansion. Seriously we were at the exit but couldn’t get off the ride! Too funny… and such my luck. Though we found a way to pass the time…

8) My fortune(s) at the candy store… First fortune- NO FORTUNE. Wasted 50 cents to be told I have no Fortune… like I needed that prediction. Ok I thought I’ll try another fortune teller. I listened while the girl in front of me read hers, all about how she’s about the meet the man of her dreams… yes I thought, this one’s my machine! And guess what came out: NOTHING once again!!! Seriously I’m even cursed at Disneyland.

7) Turkey Leg- ok it tasted like ham and the skin was nasty… but seriously who on a date has a leg of meat the size of their head! Though the McDonalds French fries were a close second! Junk food- YAY!

6) Being only 2 people- seriously here’s a plus for being a couple, we got to skip ahead in all the lines… YAY! And fast pass works great, except you can’t get more than one at a time! But oddly enough the lines weren’t too bad, and although we did miss Space Mountain we at least got to ride everything else at least once!

5) Pirates Lair on Tom Sawyer Island- Ok this is possibly the best thing ever- caves, treasures, bridges, a tree house, a boat ride… And although I realize that it’s really just for the kids, it’s also fun for those kids at heart.

4) Watching him get heckled at the Sword and the Stone… nothing like watching your date get emasculated in front of a bunch of kids to really make you smile.

3) Poison Apple Shots from the bartender at Downtown Disney. So I made the mistake of asking the bartender to make me a really fun shot with a horrible Disney name- oh my! 3 shots later and we were DRUNK!

2) Having someone equally as geeky to geek it out with me! Nothing would have been worse than having someone look at me like I was crazy as I skipped and bounced my way through the park. And although he did tease me like crazy he allowed me to turn into the 6 year old Disney Princess that I have hidden inside me… letting me stalk characters, take pictures of me and EVERYTHING, ride my favorite rides twice, share junk food with me all day, go with me to Snow Whites’ Castle and my wishing well but basically just put up with a smiley, giggly, loud, spastic, childish me! He got mad props for making it through the entire day!

1) And the top thing on the list would be getting my birthday wish under the fireworks… but sorry guys that story is just for me!

525,600 minutes...how do you measure a year in the life?

2008-07-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

As I sit here on the eve of my birthday I got to thinking about this last year… All the changes. Some subtle…some dramatic. All the events, places I’ve visited, people I’ve met, boys I’ve loved, friends I’ve lost… It’s been a wild and crazy ride!

I should have known that my year was going to be topsy turvy- after all it got kick started in July with amazing events and a tragedy or two… A trip to Arizona with Alissa for my birthday started out awesome- can’t kiss and tell for her but let’s just say between the two of us it ended up with multiple guys, lots and lots of shots (plus some Donkey Drunk Love Punch Juice- don’t ask!), some dancing, a little vomiting in a bar, a lot of making out, and an offer to get a hotel room down the street to finish the party! But the evening of insanity was followed by a morning of sadness as I got the call from one of my parents best friends who couldn’t wake up her husband… so they day was spent watching their granddaughter as my mother dealt with their relatives and my father helped deal with the coroner (thanks Alissa for helping me sit even though you were hungover as hell! We returned to LA for a birthday brunch filled with Mimosas and surfing kicking off the actual day and with a party to follow with all my closest and dearest... even a few birthday friends up from San Diego and down from San Francisco (one, Mr. High School even became another “Mr.” on my list!) Everything seemed right to kick off another great year. And then 2 weeks later I broke my nose surfing and I think everything kind of went down hill from there! Though around that time my future boyfriend was born, so all in all not too bad of a month… that poor kid will grow up with me as his Aunt and his future girlfriends will get the line “But I got to hold him when he was only a few hours old!”

August found me with a new nose and down in San Diego for two trips- even won 6 dollars at the race track- Thanks Erika for putting up with my insane happiness over 6 dollars! Back in Los Angeles after finishing up on Cloverfield I started working for this INSANE producer, and the wild ride began again! But mainly the month was spent in the sun, not surfing since I couldn’t but laying around trying to get that damn bump to go down!

September came and went without too much excitement, a few boys came and went but as my mom likes to say- No one to write home about! I did do my first Marathon- well sort of. I did the Boston Walking Marathon (trust me I think it’s harder to walk the marathon route than it is to run it! That heartbreak hill is a KILLER!) and in October I finally headed back to New York, but this time unfortunately for the funeral of one of the greatest woman I know… While I was there I got to visit the old NYU haunts and hang out with my east coast friends Sara and Jenny that I never get to see and spend a little time over at the New York Film Festival where the bane of my existence was being premiered!

November was a sad month for me- the trusty Blazer went up in smoke! Luckily I was able to upgrade to my sexy Escape! And somewhere around August I reconnected with Mr. Wyoming but lucky around the time I got my car we see him exit for good!

December was good and bad to me. I headed back to Ohio and Arizona for Christmas. It was a really horrible trip- and I had given up liquor to fit into a bikini for Hawaii so it was doubly horribly!!! And at this junction we finally see the exit of Mr. Arizona… and for all of you that have been following my saga with him over the years you might be interested in knowing he should have a new name now- Mr. Wisconsin and Mr. Father! But thankfully I am not the girl he got pregnant (though not for lack of trying while I was home for Christmas) and he has moved back home with his “fiancée”, is unemployed and living in his father’s house. As my Dad put it- I sure did dodge a bullet with that one! But I digress… back to my recap! Right after Arizona I was able to leave for what I thought was 7 days in heaven (AKA the Big Island of Hawaii with Janice and Stitz… and the Boomers! Oh it was heaven all right, but we got stuck for 11 days in heaven and were only able to leave the Island after buying another airplane ticket- this time a very expensive one! But while I was there I got to swim, snorkel, hike, rock climb, hike rain forests and active volcanoes, play with turtles and babies, lay in the sun, hitch hike with crazy locals and tourists, sip champagne and skinny dip for New Years and basically just enjoy the best life has to offer (It was an amazing trip… only to be toped by Jamaica in 2 months!)

Now the start of the New Year and the last 6 months have kind of passed in a blur… Everyone is sick of hearing about Mr. NakedBartender and frankly I’m so sick of talking about him… so if you want the recap read the numerous blogs but basically fell in love, found out he was cheating on me with everything that move (and trust me some of them were DOGS), had his ex/current mistress go crazy and accuse me of everything under the sun, then got posted topless on craigslist with my actual phone number under the erotic services section, got my heart broken, but then finally fell out of love with him. But he wasn’t a total loss… I did get to go to Vegas and check off two things on my list of things to do (get caught having sex in a National Park… and the girl who hate’s BJ’s got to give one while NakedBartender was driving my car down the Sunset Strip- hey when a man says I love you and you are drunk everything seems like a good idea!)… We also had a horrible trip to Chicago- and although it rained I would have loved to enjoy the city but instead got stuck in the hotel with a grumpy male that only wanted to complain about everything in life… And I will have to use my Dad’s expression about him here too: You really dodged a bullet with that one too! And as you know around this time came the return of two ex’s- Mr. Baby R and Mr. Brazil… this first was a short visit and the second is here to stay. And oddly am actually missing him now that he’s in India for the rest of the summer- but hey at least I get pictures of Monkeys!

And just when I though things couldn’t get worse than unemployed and exposed on the internet I managed to deal myself the worst blow- with a shot and a lemon I managed to get myself Salmonella Poisoning! And 3 weeks and 4 different medications later I’m still trying to recover… but am looking forward to the last year of my 20’s! I spent last weekend relaxing with old friends, drinking one too many beers (and taste testing my Vodkas), swimming in the pool (plus a water gun fight or two), playing rock band (like the spastic retard that I am) and enjoying life on the 4th! This week I’ve planed an insane time to celebrate the start of the end… Vodka tasting (and requisite Rock band) tonight, Disneyland tomorrow (with fireworks. YAY!), Surfing and Margaritas at the Beach on Thursday, SAKE BOMING Thursday night with my girls to celebrate my yearly milestone, and then Saturday my girls from Green and Uni are coming up for an afternoon of fun by the pool and a night out for my birthday!

All in all it’s been an insane year… but haven’t they all been! But let me tell you, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at the moment. I’ve got some great friends in my life (and even some awesome guys I can rely on!). A trip to Jamaica planed in September and hopefully a float trip at the end of the month. I’m once again wearing a bridesmaid dress in August at the wedding of my closest friend since 2nd grade… and who care that I’m going dateless! Erika and my parents are accompanying me, and we plan to drink and dance the night away! So I’m ready to turn 29… optimistic, hopefully, and dare I say it- HAPPY!

My list- 30 to do before 30!

2008-06-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking this afternoon about everything I’ve done in my life and everything that is still out there to do. Maybe it’s because I’m turning 29 in less than a month, maybe it’s because I’ve slowly been checking things off my list, and maybe it’s because after another failed relationship I’ve realized I’m no where near where I thought I would be at 30. Granted I’ve done most of the things that people only dream of doing their entire life: I’ve had wild crazy passionate affairs, I’ve been skinny dipping in multiple countries, dated those professional extreme athletes, the bad guys, the firemen, actors, models, the stripper, the bartender… I’ve gotten caught having sex in a national park (as well as given that blow job driving down the sunset strip in Vegas), learned to surf, kick box, kayak, became a yoga master, gone vegetarian, vegan, ate for my blood type, drank champagne on the beach watching the sun rise, gone on road trips, traveled with my girls, hitch hiked, back backed, gone off roading, bailed a boyfriend out of jail, met more famous Actors/ Writers/ Directors/ Producers than most people can even name, worked on more than one top 10 TV show, gotten reviewed in numerous papers, had a naked super bowl party (for only two of course!). I’ve lived in New York, moved across the country to LA without knowing a soul, left a job without having another one lined up. I’ve died my hair platinum, brown, maroon, and finally back to it’s natural blond, I’ve broken someone’s heart and had my own broken (more than once!), broken my nose, sprained my knee, gotten multiple concussions, totaled a car (well had it totaled for me), been to multiple emergency rooms, gotten a tattoo, did a walking marathon, lost 5 dress sizes and 40 pounds, learned to mix the perfect drink (and began writing about it), hiked an active volcano, ran from a rattle snake, gotten stung by a jelly fish, sting ray, and had a man of war wrap itself around my body, gotten caught in a rip current, under a wave, knocked unconscious by my surfboard, spent New Years swimming naked in Hawaii and drinking Champagne in a hot tub, learned to put on false eyelashes (hey that one was really hard!), Traveled Europe, Canada, Mexico, and of course the US, I’ve seen a ghost (I swear!), built a bonfire from scratch, thrown a black tie party, gotten the answer right in final Jeopardy, built a website from scratch, met my idols, lit fireworks on the beach…

So after looking back on everything that I have done, here is everything else… my 30 things to do before I turn 30… it’s going to be one crazy year (It might have to eventually become my top 40 to do before I turn 40 but lets see how many we can check off this year!)
1. Get Re-Scuba certified so I can dive in Jamaica in September.
2. Swim with great whites, sting rays, dolphins…
3. Enter (and finish) my first Marathon
4. Finish my book and get it published
5. Go Sky Diving, Bungee Jumping and Learn to Fly
6. Get up on stage and sing at a Karaoke bar (alone)
7. Learn to Sail and spend a weekend on a boat in the middle of nowhere
8. Rock Climb up an impossibly high mountain, and when I get to the top scream as loud as I can
9. Spend the night sleeping under the stars on the beach with just a bonfire and a sleeping bag (and hopefully a boy!)
10. Finally get the rest of my nose done to fix last summers broke nose… plus those restlyne shots I’ve wanted… and maybe my teeth whitened.
11. Find that perfect job… whatever it may be!
12. Spend an entire Sunday naked in bed… with someone of course
13. Lose those final 10 pounds… as well as be able to do 1000 sit-ups without stopping (if Britney can them, then so can I)
14. Watch the sun rise in Alaska
15. Fall in love Mr. Right (and stop falling for Mr. Wrongs)
16. Make my blog actually profitable… and try and write every day no matter what!
17. Have sex on a Jet Ski, Surfboard, Airplane…
18. Buy myself a new bed with a really amazing and expensive mattress
19. Learn to drive a Motorcycle
20. Run with the Bulls in Spain (or at least watch them do it live)
21. Ride an Elephant in India
22. Pay off my credit card debt and student loans… or at least some of it
23. Go white water rafting in the Grand Canyon
24. Spend time in Brazil, Fiji, Tahiti, and on some island whose name I won’t even be able to pronounce.
25. Get that tattoo that I’ve been dreaming of
26. Blow an entire paycheck on a pair of Monolos!
27. Learn how to change a tire, put oil in the car, cook a soufflé, snowboard, skip rocks, bake a pie from scratch, drive a stick shift, whistle, build a perfect sandcastle and throw a kick ass snowball.
28. Be able to keep a plant alive for more than a week
29. Drink a glass of wine on a vineyard in Italy
30. But most importantly be OK with where ever I am in life on July 10, 2009! It’s ok to be 30 and not married, to not have my 2.5 kids yet, to not own my own house, to not have a job that I totally love or get paid enough for. It’s ok to not wear SPF 40 (and not to feel guilty about it). Ok to skip dinner to have that chocolate cake. Ok to not have that diamond ring from Tiffany’s. It’s OK to not look like Barbie, to not agree with my parents view on my life, to enjoy sex (even if it sometimes is with the wrong guy). And most importantly it’s Ok to just be ME!

A letter to my younger self

2008-05-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

On my way home tonight I got to thinking about my life. How much it’s changed in the last year, five years, 10 years, 20 years… All the things I’ve learned, all the heartache, the accomplishments, all the love, the hate, the fights, the friendships. And I thought about how everything that seemed important at the time really means nothing now, but all the things that I brushed off and thought nothing of, now seem like the only things. It’s like one of my favorite songs says- Thank God for unanswered prayers! So I thought I’d sit down tonight with a glass of champagne and toast all the amazing things in my life and write a letter to my younger self… at 12, and 16, and 21, and even 28! Because the things I know now really would have changed my life.

To me,

You are going to lead an amazing life. The life of a gypsy. A queen. A pauper. A lover. A fighter… You are going to travel the world but at the same time you are going to find home. You will cry yourself to sleep many nights, but wake up with a smile on your face more mornings than not. You are going to fall in love too many times to count. In your young 20’s you will feel like the last virgin in the world. Don’t rush it, don’t worry about it, but buy yourself a vibrator early on- it really will help! You will eventually think you are in love with a friendly Brazilian and finally be ready for everything. You just need to try not to make him into what you want him to be. He’s not a prince, not husband material, has no boyfriend qualities- but he’s the right one. You will love him, though you really won’t be in love with him… but he will always be there when you need him. And will eventually teach you that you don’t need to be in relationships with the men in you life that you love. Because having a friend that will do anything for you is worth so much more than having someone to come home to every night. You are going to meet lots of guys after him, don’t stress over them. And try not to cry too much when they break your heart. They aren’t worth it. Though when you meet a certain boy from Arizona, run- he really isn’t worth the hassle. But in your late 20’s you are going to meet someone who you think is. And he will break your heart in more ways than you thought possible. But I can’t tell you not to go into that bar and meet him. In fact walk into Q’s and fall in love with him. Because in the end he will give you back something so much more than what he was worth. Because after the heartache you will realize something that you’ve taken for granted- the friendships in your life. Because the accomplishment that you will be most proud of will be the friends in your life. Because to be someone who is worth what they all will do for you when you are at your lowest is really someone special. And that’s something that none of these guys can take away from you. And in the end you will end up so much stronger. And this guy will change your life in ways that I am only now beginning to realize. He will make you ready to actually meet the one. Ready for kids. Ready to settle down. Ready to become the person your friends actually think you are. I wish I could tell you about the man that eventually will become the only man in your life. And although I haven’t met him yet, I know he’s out there. And when we meet him, I do know we will be thankful that we didn’t end up with any of the former men in our lives. And personally I don’t want to know about him yet, because I can’t wait for that first moment when I know that he will be the man we will spend the rest of our life with.

Over the years you will spend way too much time worrying about what people think. In high school you will meet guys who you think are gods. They aren’t. And in fact eventually they will just become old, balding, Buddha bellied humans. And there will be girls that you will look up and follow throughout high school. When you get out you will realize that they really were just big fish in a small pond. And the tables will turn at sometime, and you will become the woman that they follow. But pay attention to the friends that you do have. Many of them will leave your life right after school, but a few will stay with you forever. Those friends are worth it. I cant’ tell you which ones because you need to realize that for yourself. But don’t mourn the friends you lose… the ones you keep will make up for it.

In college you will try and spread your wings. Don’t go to Cozy Soup and Burger so much. Take a yoga class- you will LOVE it. Attend more classes, the sleep isn’t worth it and you have so much time later in life to sleep. Spend more time being young. You have your entire life to be a grown up. Play a little! At the end of Sophomore year you will meet a woman who will change your life. She will let you into her family, give you a place to stay whenever you need it (complete with housekeeper), teach you the importance of a martini and happy hour at 5 every day. But most importantly she will show you the kind of woman you can only hope to become. And when you leave New York you will think you don’t have enough time to keep in touch with her and her family that had become your own. And you will put it off and always think you have more time later. But you don’t. And you will lose her just when you probably could use her advice the most. And that’s when you will learn one of life’s most valuable lessons. Tell the ones that you love that you love them. Call them whenever you can. See them even when you think you have more important things to do. And never take for granted that they will always be there for you, because one day you will look for them and they will be gone. I can only hope that someday I will live up to her memory. But at the same time you will meet a boy that will change how you view men. And not in the way that you’d expect- but he will become the man that you can depend on most. And when he tries to back out of going to a Playwrights “hook up party” you will need to do everything in your power to make sure he goes. Because there he will meet the love of his life, who will become the second woman who will change your life. They will continually show you that there are such things as soul mates, teach you the meaning of friendship, and more importantly show you that blood does not determine your family. Because they will become your family. And make sure you keep your Tuesday nights free, because dinner with them will become the highlight of you week. And try and take to heart when they don’t like the boys in your life, and as much as you think they are wrong- they will tend to be right. But again that’s a lesson you will have to learn on your own.

After college you will move to Los Angeles by yourself. And that’s where you will truly find yourself. Try not to spend so much money. Try and enjoy life a little more. Take up surfing earlier it will come to be your savior. Don’t worry about missing New York and the people in it! Those that you love from school will move to you- Jonathan, Anne, Lisa, Brian they all will migrate west later on. This also is when you will start to find your career. You will flirt from job to job. But try not to let that get you down. You will do amazing things. You will meet the people that everyone else in the world only dreams about. But never lose that feeling you will have on your first film. The wonder, and excitement, and nervousness, and the feeling that you can take over the world. Keep that with you. You are going to learn to love champagne and soy. Trade cheese fries for hummus and carrots. You will learn to live on brie and mimosas. But at the same time a vegan meal will always make you salivate. You will finally get that body you’ve always wanted, not without going hungry and a lot of exercise. But it’s worth it. Kickboxing is the best way to get over a break up. And a run on the beach will always clear your head.

Take the criticism from your parents with a grain of salt. But remember that although they will always be your harshest critics, they also will become your biggest supporters. Try and show them that the path you lead is the only one for you. But at the same time remember that they do only want the best for you, and they only want you to have everything that they never imagined. Mom is going to get sick. But take her words of wisdom at the beginning as truth- Breast Cancer is not a life sentence. Because it’s not! But spend as much time with her as possible anyways! And Dad will give you a piece of advice that will help you later on, he will tell you that the outdoors and the sun will get right of anything that ails you. That is the truth. You feel and look better with a tan, so get outside and enjoy it!

And before you know it the strange land that is Los Angeles will become the home that you always imagined. You will meet amazing people. You will surround yourself with a group of friends that you can’t even imagine. They will be a hodgepodge of people that you’ve met over the years. Some are from Elementary School, some High School, some College, some from Universal, Warner Brothers, New Line, various Films and TV shows but they will become your family. Never doubt that they are there. And every time you think you are at your lowest, call one of them up. Without fail they will cheer you up and remind you just how great your life can be- usually with a mimosas or a shot but ALWAYS with a smile! But at the same time make sure you know when they need cheering up. You will be with them when your mom gets sick, when theirs do, through break ups, and heartache, and fights, and loss of jobs, loss of pets, and mid-20’s crisis, and weddings, and funerals, and movie premieres and more events and days than you can imagine!

Just remember through everything you are going through- you will lead a truly extraordinary life. Get out and enjoy it. You are going to stumble many times but always get up better and stronger. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't worry too much about your looks, you will grow into them. Learn to love your nose, because you will break it and actually miss the one you had! Laugh as much as possible! And if you ever need anything just know that I’m right here going through it all with you!

Me.

New Years in Hawaii...

2008-01-02T19:01:00.000-08:00

Too many adventures to pull out... but here is the slide show from 11 days in Hawaii!!!

Sometimes it's the deaths that bring us back.

2007-11-15T20:14:00.000-08:00

Going back to New York for Stephs Funeral opened my eyes to a lot of things… most are still too hard to put into words. And it brought back a lot of memories, as did walking around out old haunts. It’s funny how we take millions of pictures but forget the moments in which they were taken. Sure we can remember the place or the people in them. But we forget how we felt… But then sometimes when we least expect it those forgotten memories sneak up on us. I can’t explain why, but over the last few days I’ve had those millions of memories come flooding back to me. Sitting on the steps of Weinstein, passing the arch in Washington Square Park, eating ice cream at Serendipity it made me very nostalgic for New York, for being in college and for the Hardt that I was in college. I started remembering the dinner parties we use to throw at Steph and Jims (plus the real reason that the screen door broke!). Packing up all my stuff with Lisa and Brian before I moved to Los Angeles, just 3 days before September 11th. The way the city looked at 2am when you would leave the bar and it was all of a sudden transformed under a blanket of white after the first snow. The come with your heart on party at Turnip Theatre every Valentines Day that Steph threw. Those summers wondering through central park with nothing to do but enjoy life. Reading on a rainy days in the indoor garden at the Met. All those horrible Playwrights 3rd year shows and spending Sundays at Tech Rehearsals with Krispy Cream donuts (odd memories I know!). Freshman year when Jonathan was next door (well that hasn’t changed!) and Anne was just down the street. When the hardest thing in my life was getting up in the morning for 8am warm up class (which I attended in my pajamas more than once!). All those Saturdays my Dad would come out just for the day to see one of my shows and we would wonder around the city just the two of us. Taking that horrible trolley home to Water Street every day and the walk up to school through China Town and Little Italy. Drinks at the World Trade Center the weekend of The Niger Trial (it was a play, I’m not a racist!). My graduation lunch at The Boathouse in Central Park where I thought my father was the coolest guy ever because he palmed the hostess to get us a table. Watching Rent with my Mother (I might not be able to remember all the Broadway shows I’ve seen but I will always remember my first!). Running through Battery Park on the weekends when there was no one around. Walking through a blizzard to work in a snow suit (everyone laughed but hey at least I was warm!). That feeling that I could do anything I wanted, be anyone, go anywhere. A time before heartbreak, when I was sure that a prince charming was just around the corner and I couldn’t wait to finally lose my virginity. When a cheese burger and cheese fries at Cozy Soup and Burger could cure everything. And a boat ride to Staten Island would clear my head. Those 2am trips to Coney Island just to see the ocean (even though it was in the middle of winter and snowing out!). Being ok with who I was, where I was going… when I thought I’d never leave New York. Still thought I’d make my first million before I was 30, meet the man of my dreams at 28, get engaged at 29, and then married at 30. When I thought I’d have a bakers dozen of kids running around the city… I know that these memories will always be with me, I have tokens and pictures to remind me, plus friends to reminisce with… if only I could have kept with me that feeling of being invincible, because over the years I’ve lost that naïve NYU Student… instead I’m harden, and realistic, prone to the melodramatic, obsessive, a little insecure… but just for one day I’d like to go back in time and just breath in who I use to be.

Lost

2007-11-05T20:12:00.000-08:00

10 years ago I left for New York and never looked back… I've prided myself on being Confident. Independent. Strong. And most importantly determined. I've known what I've wanted to do since I was 6. I've had amazing adventures. Fallen in and out of love. Traveled. Lived all over the US. Conquered Los Angeles and made it feel more like a home than I ever imagined. I've made amazing friends. And worked places that most of the population would kill to just spend one day at. I had my life all planed out… and even though it's gone off track a few times I've always managed to end up ahead of my plan… until now. As hard as it is to admit for the first time in my life I find myself lost. And it's not just that I find myself without a job… or a guy… or a safety net of any sort… It's that I'm 100 percent lost and don't know quite where it happened.

Over the last few days I've thought a lot about my life… all that I've accomplished. All that I wanted to do. All that I expected to do in my life. And for the first time I don't know where I want my life to go. It's not turned out the way I dreamed it would be… and I've come to realize that maybe it's time to make some changes to the Hardt life plan. Though I don't know even where to begin with that…

I've also thought a lot about the people that have come in and out of it. I've thought about the boys that have come and gone… but also about the people that have helped me along the way. On Sunday I found out that the person who has shaped me the most passed away and in the next few weeks I'm heading back to New York for her funeral and that scares me. I'm scared of saying goodbye. Scared of seeing my old self in New York with all of my former hopes and dreams… but especially scared of seeing who I am now... because right now I really don't know who that is.

A New City, A New Nose and apparently my very own blog Stalker!

2007-08-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

A month ago I had a pretty serious surfing accident that landed me in the hospital with a broken nose and a very serious concussion. After getting it re-broken and moved over I have had a nice little cast on it… and this morning, at about 4am to be exact, I decided to sneak the cast off… figuring I could just put it back on and the doctor would never be the wiser… and I was right about that part. But what I wasn't right about was how it would look. Since I hadn't seen it post surgery, I was envisioning my old nose only better! What I didn't expect was that it would still be bruised, a grayish color, and more bumpy than when I went in… so after about an hour of crying- turns out that doesn't make it look any better! I slipped the cast back on and went back to the surgeon to show him the bad news.

After the exhaustion of the night before, the disappointment in men from the week prior, and a serious depression due to looking like the elephant woman- I was hoping to sneak home after work, pour myself a bottle of wine, shut the blinds, turn off the lights, and hibernate until Monday. But my girls in San Diego had other plans for me… but turns out a weekend down south was just what I needed!!!

This weekend was already going to be spent avoiding my Mr. High School (he broke up with me the week I broke my nose after I missed our weekend in San Diego- DUE TO BEING IN THE HOSPITAL) so when I saw how horrible I still looked I made it my mission to avoid him. So of course when I found out the a friends party was at the bar around the corner from his house I panicked. And you can imagine my panic when while there I felt a tap on my shoulder. Just knowing it was him I turned around with dread to only come face to face with 2 girls from my past, one was my high school nemesis and the other one apparently was a former friend who I had a feud with and we made each others lives hell (though I say apparently because I don't remember her at all!). The funny thing about running into people from your past is that you worry so much about yourself that you don't take into consideration that they are also doing the same. There I was worrying about my nose and the first thing that came out of my old nemesis mouth was- Hey so I've been keeping up with you the past couple of years on your blog... My mouth just drooped. I don't know why friends of mine would not get bored with my ramblings about my sex life, but to know that people from my past were also reading them was a little mind blowing...

So after 3 days of constantly flowing alcohol, more food than I've consumed in the last month, 1 night of serous dancing, 2 days of laying out by the pool, some old friends that I have missed, some old enemies I have not, some singing, some laughing, some flirting, a beach, a spa, some pole dancing, a chance encounter with my very own blog stalker, a 100 dollar "profit", and a road trip mix- I am back to my old tricks! The bump on the nose has gone down. My tan has come back. The hair's a little blonder. And my smile a bit bigger! Look out San Diego- I'm back next weekend… You better be ready for me!

But in the meantime here's a little taste...

The importance of a Martini

2007-07-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been hard ones for me… My life seems to be on a rollercoaster that I’m not use to. Too many goodbyes. And funerals. And ends. And changes… but it's the goodbye that I couldn't say that is going to haunt me the longest. We all work too many hours. Have too many things to do. Not enough time in the day. Don't get enough sleep… but in the end those are all selfish excuses that we tell ourselves… for the last few years I have been using my job and my life as an excuse to why I haven't stayed in touch with many people in my life. I've let some friendships fall by the wayside due to time and distance. I left New York 5 years ago and have never looked back. I have seen friends at Weddings and reunions and a few short trips back east… but have basically gone on with my life… Over the last year I have tried to make a trip back to New York multiple times and every time something has come up… A new job. A trip to Vegas that I just had to go on. A new pair of shoes instead of a plane ticket. It has never seemed all that urgent for me to get back… after all it's only been a couple of years and the city and my friends will still there… It is that selfish thought that has been running through my head… And today it became really apparent how selfish that really was... How selfish I was.

A year and a half into my stay in New York I met someone who would change my life forever- Stephanie Martini. She took me into her family and made me feel at home in a city that could have easily swallowed me up… and outside of my parents she is the person who had the most influence on shaping who I am. I only wish I could have told her exactly how much… She would have been the most surprised and proud of who I have become and how much I have changed my life… Most of you have made fun of my "Martha Stewart" ways. My crazy healthy eating habits. My inability to serve chips out of a plastic bag. My fondness for cocktail hours and more importantly martini glasses. The hatred of parties with plastic cups… That is all because of Stephanie. She introduced me to Cosmopolitans before they became fashionable on Sex in the City. Taught me to love Vegetarian food and yoga. Set me up with my first Apartment in Los Angeles. Let me stay in their apartment whenever I needed a place to crash, be it for a night, a weekend, or a summer. Over the last year I have reminded myself to call or email her, and yet something always came up that I felt was more important. When I found out she was sick I tried numerous times to write her an email but nothing seemed adequate... I told myself that when she is feeling better we will be able to catch up… turns out that I am not going to get that chance. And that it something I will always regret.

So I sit here tonight and tell you to stop making excuses. You have the time! You aren't that busy! Your job isn't that important! That phone call only takes a minute. That email even less. Don't sit there saying there is always tomorrow. Because there isn't. Don't waste the time. Tell that person that you love them. Catch up with that friend that you've lost touch with. Hug whoever it is that you come home to. Call your family, your friends, your lover… everyone who touches your life. Show them that you care. It doesn't take a lot to say thank you. We come in and out of each other lives so easily… and it's just as easy to remember as it's been to forget. My father told me something when I was little… it didn't mean anything to me then, but the older I get the more I realize how right he was. He told me it is better to regret the things we have done, than to regret the things we were to afraid to do… Don't let fear, or time, or ambivalence stop you… because at the end of the day you don't want to look back and know that it's too late.

To my family and friends!

2007-07-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Bailey: You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you...that's all that matters.
Greys Anatomy

This weekend I learned the true meaning of friendship- and once again it was taught to me by my parents… Saturday morning while in Arizona I got a call from one of their closest friends- after a long battle with cancer her husband had passed away. But at the time, all that she knew was she couldn't wake him up. And the first call after 911 was to my Dad to come over to help. He drove right over there and forced his way through the police, through the doctor, through the fire department... After he was told that he was not allowed into the house, he went across the street to our neighbor, the district attorney- who of course made the police let my father into the house. The rest of the day was spent in a blur of activity. My day was spent watching their 6 year old granddaughter so she didn't have to watch what was going on, my mom started in on the list of friends and relatives that Dottie had given her to call and let them know that Bob has passed away, and my father stayed with Dottie to help make the arrangements and deal with anything and everything that came up… sometime you make friends that change your life… and sometime you make some that are worth living for.

Thanks to all my friends, near and far… Because I know I'm not the easiest person. I'm stubborn. And grumpy. And a huge perfectionist. I'm a snob. I'm extremely bitchy and judgmental… and yet many of you see those things and somehow make them into qualities to be admired for… so thank you for spending the last year with me. Thanks for reminding me that I may be single but I'm not alone. Thanks for sitting on the beach with me this morning and cheering me on while I surfed. Thanks for singing me happy birthday starting last night. Thanks for going to Arizona with me and being a good enough wingman to make sure I meet a new Mr. Arizona for my birthday. Thanks for the emails. Text messages. Songs. Cakes. Cards. My space messages. Calls. And for just thinking of me... not just today… but for everyday of the past year. It's been a bumpy ride so far- but personally I can't wait to see what the next half has in store for me!

Broken Illusions.

2007-03-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion”

I never really thought of what would happen when Mr. Arizona and I ended for good. I guess I never thought that through. I knew when he told me he couldn’t do long distance that we didn’t have the future we wanted but at the same time I always had hope. Three weeks ago his Grandmother passed away. Now to understand a little but about Mr. Arizona and women you have to understand his past. Now this isn’t making any excuses for him. It’s just a little insight into his brain. When he was in elementary school his mother was killed in a car crash leaving his father to raise 5 boys, two which where twin babies. Now I don’t know the entire story of what happened, but I can’t imagine it would have been easy for a single dad to raise this family. As it happens his father met someone and married her within a year. Until recently he has hated his stepmom. Growing up disliking the main female influence in his life he turned to his Grandmother to raise him. So you can imagine that when she passed away it was like losing his mom again. Now I don’t know all the details, but I do know that I was the first person that he called. And despite our past of course I was there for him. He went back to Wisconsin for the funeral and while there I heard stories of how he showed his family all the pictures of his trip to Los Angeles and even portrayed us as being together still. As soon as he got back to Arizona he called me and told me that he wanted us to make a real try and could I come out to Arizona so we can work things out, with the possibility of him looking for a job out here in Los Angeles.

I was so shocked by the phone call I started shaking. Here is the man I thought I would marry offering to give me everything that I had every wanted. But there was a voice inside me that was hesitant. I had been down this road with Mr. Wyoming. He too had told me I was the one. He too had move back to Los Angeles to be with me. And he in turn left me right after. I told Mr. Arizona that I needed time to think about it. To say he took it bad is putting it mildly, but he told me he would give me however much time I needed. I woke up that next day knowing that he was the one I wanted to be with. Knowing that I was ready to make that leap. So I called him right up and left him a voice mail saying that yes I would fly out to Phoenix. As soon as I hung up I started to look into flights. I thought it was weird that I didn’t hear from him that night but knew he was busy getting back to work. So the next day I called and left him a message about how excited I was to come out and emailed him flight options… 2 weeks later and I’m still waiting for that call back. And that answer is no, it doesn’t get any easier. Every day my heart is still breaking at the thought of him. Every day I shed just one more tear thinking about what could have been. I’ll never know what happened. I’m sure he was just scared as always. But this time I’m not waiting around to find out. And as much as I love him, it’s time to finally let go. Let go of the past. Let go of my ideas of the future. Because for once I want to find the guy who won’t be able to let me go. Looks like this time this traveler is staying on the ground…

Who says you can't go home?

2007-02-03T19:48:00.000-08:00

"Thanks, and for more than for just what you said… For everything over the years. For loving me. For believing in me. For being you"
Mr. Wyoming

This has been a really hard weekend- one that I can’t go into too much detail about. But it’s been an emotional rollercoaster. I flew out to Arizona for a biopsy my mom was having. Two years ago she was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. Luckily they caught it really early and after a lumpectomy and radiation she was cancer-free. This year they found a lump in her neck so large that when she turns certain angles you can see it poking out. Unfortunately the doctor didn't have any miracle news for her. We will have to wait another two weeks for the biopsy reports to come back. She said pretty much what we thought- that of the two nodules one will be fine with no problems and one is the cancerous one. Of course the one that has no problem is the large one that is pressing against her neck- so yes the entire thyroid most likely will have to come out. In the next two weeks we will be able to confirm if it is thyroid cancer or if her breast cancer has metastasized. After that we will be able to figure out the best treatment and start this fun process once again. She's holding up really well. She has her good days and bad. On her good days she's off golfing, at her painting class, playing bunko with the girls. Basically just enjoying everything that life has to offer. On her bad days she in a lot more pain, is tired, sore, annoyed with all the doctors for not being able to help her and basically just giving up on ever having a cure. That was the hardest part for me to see while I was at home. To have my vibrant mother reduced to trying to pick fights with my father and I just because she is nervous and is having a hard time handling everything. You can imagine this trip home involved a lot of yelling, screaming, and tears.

It also was a hard trip because of my beloved dog- Sooner. It looks like he had a stroke on Saturday, and he has been having a hard time walking over the past few months. So we discussed what needs to be done with him, if it should be at home, and if I wanted to be there when it happens. He gets a month or two reprieve based on selfish reasons on our family's part- the only thing that made my mom feel better after her first surgery was him laying in bed with her. So until she gets through all this she wants him right there besides her. It will be bitter sweet when she finally ends her treatments because it will be mean saying goodbye to someone who has been my shadow for the last 17 years.

Of course the entire weekend wasn't horrible. I got to spend a lot of time with both of my parents. I got to eat my favorite meals. I got to spend a lot of time in the sun, oh I've missed that hot Arizona sun! And spent a drunken night on the town with Mr. Arizona with no worries and a lot of laughs. I hiked my favorite Mountain and got a little easy rock climbing in. Though in the end I really missed being with everyone in LA. It's going to be a hard couple of month going back and forth and eventually staying for weeks at a time in Phoenix. Because sometimes on a Saturday night what I need more than anything is to have a couple of glasses with my girls and go back to a simpler time. Where parents aren't sick. And dogs are just puppies. Where boys are things are avoid. And the sun meant we could stay out a few more hours before we had to be home. Because sometimes in the winter that sunset comes just a little too fast.

When you wish on a star...

2007-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

The last couple of weeks have been crazy , filled with a lot of surprises. And for once I’m actually afraid that talking about it will get rid of all the magic of the last few weeks. Of course I have been back in reality for the last couple of days and slowly that magic has worn off and I've had to look long and hard at what I want. But in the meantime for once here is a story about someone visiting me, instead of me traveling to them!

After that fateful Christmas night it was apparent to both Mr. Arizona and I that our time together wasn’t over. As soon as I left for Los Angeles he did what any good hero would do, got himself on one of the next planes and came out to spend New Years with me. I didn’t know what to expect. I was hoping for was a fun New Years Eve fling. And just praying it wouldn't end in the complete disaster that was his last visit. But instead I somehow ended up falling in love with him. Now the trip wasn't perfect by a long shot. We of course managed to argue, have a little New Years Eve debacle, spend way too much time worrying about our families’ reaction to us, and way too much energy talking about our past (failed) relationships. But somehow in that imperfection of the weekend- there was kind of a perfect quality to it. We spent New Year’s Eve Day on the beach in Hermosa and rode bikes down to Balboa Island. Laughing and frolicking along the way, complete with hand holding and dolphins! And then continued our Los Angeles tour and spent New Year’s day hiking up in the Santa Monica Mountains and then Mimosas and brunch on the beach in Malibu at Paradise Cove. And really that’s what it was- Paradise. I think I will always remember the smile on his face as we hiked Coral Canyon. Forever cemented in my mind as our place. There was almost a magical quality as we hiked over the boulders and up the waterfalls. And I know how cheese it sounds, but it was like we found a little place of our own. Where time stands still. Where there was no one else in the world. And for the 2 hours it was just us. No problems. No distances. No airplane rides. Just Mr. Arizona and Hardt.

When he left yesterday I figured we would go back to our usual parting of the ways when either of us leaves town. We would text and chat for a bit. Slowly back away from one another until the next thing we know we haven't spoken for months until I am back in Phoenix and we begin it all again. But turns out this time I don’t want that. I have found myself missing having him around. For New Years I promised that I would finally take the bull by the horns and start living the life I want to live- So here goes- this is me just going for it. Despite all the reasons why we shouldn't. Despite all the distance between us. Despite all the past hurts we have inflicted on each other. And despite all the other people in our lives, I think we deserve a chance. A chance to see where this is going… A chance to see the possibilities. And maybe this time we might just surprise ourselves.

Total Eclipse of the Hardt

2006-12-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

I will firmly admit that I'm a snob. I prefer Organic Food. Wear Designer Clothes. Enjoy taking a car service from the airport. Think Manolo Blanik is a God and that it's normal to pay 400 for a pair of Jimmy Choos. Champagne is my drink of choice. I refuse to go to a club if I'm not on the list. But for some reason when I go home to Arizona, that all goes out the window. Christmas night found Mr. Arizona and I at a Dive Cowboy Karaoke Bar in Scottsdale singing Bonnie Tyler at the top of our lungs and slow dancing to those 90's classic that we all are embarrassed to say we still know by heart! And the surprising thing is- I had a blast!!! Mind you I also had a lot of alcohol, but even without the drinks I think I would still have enjoyed the evening.

Of course I went to the dive bar in a black strapless dress with a pair of red fuck-me-heels. Being from LA and more importantly in this horrible entertainment industry I'm use to having to have the perfect outfit, have to wear what's appropriate, and more importantly look put together when it calls for it but also to look designer sloppy when it doesn't. And here I was in a cocktail dress in a dive bar! Now if that happened in LA people would look at me like I was crazy. Yet somehow amongst the jeans and t-shirts I fit in. While waiting in line for the women's restroom the women in front and behind me started talking to me about my dress. So much that the woman behind me told me she couldn't stand next to me anymore because it made her wish she had dressed a little better. Now I just laughed at this because in LA that same woman would have tried to make me be the one to feel horrible about dressing up. Though in my defense I was just wearing what I had worn to Christmas dinner! But it was in the moment when I thought what the hell am I doing in LA?

I learned a lot of things this Christmas. It turns out you can take the girl out of the city and the city out of the girl! Because I spent that Christmas Night enjoying all the dive bar had to offer. Good music, good (and some really horrible) singers, a couple of slow songs to dance to, a lot of laughs, and some great company in the form of Mr. Arizona. What more could you want from Santa?!

Does Great Passion Become Love... or Disaster?

2006-12-18T19:37:00.000-08:00

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart."
Meet Joe Black

Over the past year I have slowly learned that the passion and fire I once craved has turned into my greatest blind spot. I have always had tumultuous relationships. And I thought that the great passion that I had with these men meant that I was embarking on a great love affair. Just when I began to realize the fallacy of that statement it seemed as if a miracle had happened and Mr. Wyoming and I got back together earlier this year. Our tumultuous past had disappeared with all the months that had past. Instead of our constant fighting we got along smoothly. No arguing. No disagreements. No fireballs of problems. Though with the end of our fighting came the end of our passion. You know the kind where you can't see enough of each other and after a moment together you are tearing each other’s clothes. Usually that’s the kind of relationship that I care, and more often than not I get it. But this time around what I craved was that breakfast in bed and that movie together on a rainy night. With this change I start to think well then maybe this is love. Except that I’ve found I do need some of that passion. And I finally let him walk out of my life for good (ok know I’ve said this over and over, but I always MEAN it when I say it and I do mean it, again). I even thought it was kind of ironic that as he left my bedroom last week - Goodbye my lover was playing on my stereo. It seems like even James Blunt knew it was time for us to finally end!

But now I find myself at a crossroads. I’ve been hanging out a lot with Mr. My Harry. Even been toying with the idea of trying to convince him to give us that shot that we never had. With him I also don’t have that passion! But he’s someone that I love. And what more can you want than to be dating one of your best friends. But turns out you do need a little of that passion to make it work. And sadly it looks like we really are destined to just be friends.

But the real news of the week is that I have gone through a full circle and once accepted a date with Mr. Arizona. I will be going home to Arizona for Christmas and with those trips it always brings me back to him. And with him we still have the fire (we seem to argue every time we talk!) but the question is do we have anything besides that. I still don’t know if I can get over what happened in the beginning of last year. He’s been trying really hard to make me believe he’s sorry. But I’m worried that that is all it is. Just him making me believe VS him actually being sorry. Our fire has always equals great sex, but sex does not a relationship make. Why can't I have that fire and passion but also that loving stable relationship? It seems that passion only leads to a fireball of disasters, at least in my experience. But at the same time stable relationships usually just slowly fizzle out. Is there something in-between or is that just the myth that we single woman choose to believe? And at what point do we need to start to settle? At 27? At 30? At 40?

Does Great Passion Become Love... or Disaster?

2006-12-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

Do these people really exist?!

2006-11-26T19:19:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving once again brought another trip home to Arizona… oddly enough it wasn’t the standby travel getting there that got to me, it was the Zonies- and more importantly the Zonies looking for a deal! This week I ended up on a search for a new laptop… Turns out my computer had multiple problems with it although I wouldn't have known since I blew something and it refused to turn on anymore!!! So my father had the bright idea for us to pick one up on Black Friday… Now most of you might not know what black Friday is... and that's a very good thing!!! Black Friday is what the retail industry refers to as the day after Thanksgiving. The stores open super early- Circuit City was one of the first to open at 5:00am. Now when my father suggested us getting there early- I was thinking ok at like 9, right? I guess I must have been dreaming with that late of a start time! His response was well if the store opens at 5, then we should be there no later than 4:30... I of course thought this was RIDICULOUS. But not wanting to upset my father when he was getting me a new computer, I agreed to get up at 4 so we can wait in line at the store. I was having visions of that old Mervin's commercial- OPEN OPEN OPEN...

Friday morning arrived and there wasn't a soul on the road... Ha I said to my father- looks like we are the only ones up this early to hit the electronics store. Just wait was his response to my naiveté. As we pulled into the mall parking lot- I was shocked! Not only was the parking lot full, but the line went around the building!!! And when the store opened at 5- look out! Those people went running!! I had never seen adults act like this! You would think they were giving the computers away!!! As soon as we entered the store it was Chaos! People running, and grabbing, and pushing, and shoving. Someone even pulled my poor flip flop right off my feet :(

We finally made our way to the computer section. After waiting roughly an hour in a line that seemed to be going nowhere- we were told that they were out of the computers that we were all waiting for! Out of computers!!! How is that possible!!! So we slowly exited the building with our heads down... our steps a litter slower. After the adventure of getting up early we left the store without a thing!!! Though turns out the store aren't stupid! The sale on Friday was followed by a sale on Saturday... Similar computer and at close to the same price! YAY! And that is why I am able to sit here at the Phoenix airport, waiting patiently for my flight back to phoenix, and am able to recount to all of you my shopping adventures. So lesson of the day- Sleep in the Day after Thanksgiving... because without fail there will be a similar sale the following day! And I'm going to bet another one the day after that :)

Just Pay it Forward!

2006-09-27T16:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a good Samaritan or even a guardian angel really does exist. While trying to get back to Boston last weekend I was waiting for the T in this little town. Though to be honest it wasn't a real station because it really wasn't a real town. Just a bunch of houses, a country club, and a gas station. Which of course wasn't open on the weekends! So there I was- lost and trying to buy a ticket from a broken machine. When the train finally came I was told that they don't have change, so my only option was to give the driver a 20 dollar bill for my 3 dollar ticket or I could walk into the town to find change. I tried explaining to the driver that I was from out of town and had already walked around and I couldn't find change anywhere. To which the "extremely" helpful driver responded with- oh there is a parking lot "somewhere" down the road and that I could "probably" walk to it and find change! Left without much of an option I was about to hand over the 20 dollars when the guy in front of my turned around and handed him 3 dollars for my ticket. As I started to say thanks, he just smiled, waved and walked to the back of the car. So I thank that nameless guy on the train and all the other people out there that have reached out and helped me throughout my life… hopefully someday I will show that I deserved that help.

The Dancing Queens

2006-09-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

"Maybe there won't be marriage,
Maybe there won't be sex,
But by God there'll be dancing! "
My Best Friend’s Wedding

Over the years I have tried every conceivable way to mend my broken hearts:
-I've tried staying at home and moping- turns out you can only watch The Notebook so many times before you want to slit your wrists!
-I've tried falling into bed with the first guy I see. Hint for you- if he doesn't speak English and you don’t speak Portuguese, no matter how hot he is, it's just not going to work out!
-I've tried calling up one of the numerous exs- If you want to try this one you need an ex like Mr. X- he's always either single or willing to cheat on his current girl for a good shag!
-I've tried working out like crazy- but we all know the first time we run into our ex it doesn’t matter how hot our body may look. Because without fail we will not have brushed our hair in days, our face will look have more potholes in it that the 405, and we will be wearing our last clean shirt- usually that one we bought on our last day in Cancun on spring break in 1987! Come on, you know you have that shirt.

So this time I thought I would do something a little different. So off I went to Vegas with the girls! Turns out I may have found the perfect remedy for a broken heart- 3 single girls friends, one road trip, 2 days laying in the sun at the Mandalay Bay pool, 1 night dancing at Rain, 1 bachelor party, multiple electric lemonades, some champagne, a little vodka, a few slot machines, and enough laughter to make me forget that there ever was a Mr. Baby R! All thanks to my girls- Jen, Alissa, and Laura. I may not have been my usually happy self at the beginning (or Saturday night!) but slowly my smile has returned! Watch out LA, I’m back...

Planes...Trains...and Traffic!

2006-06-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

After a week of 15 hour works days while trying to come down from a 3-day bender from the weekend before, I was looking forward to 3 days in Arizona with the family. Sleeping. Laying in the Sun. Hiking. Drinking Margaritas all day long Basically just putting the past 7 days behind me and refresh. It was a great idea, the only problem was making it out there.

I began my journey at 11 am on Friday morning It was a gray dismal rainy day in Southern California- I couldn't wait to make it to the warmth of the desert! After managing to find a great parking space at the airport, I got there with enough time to grab my usual at Starbucks- Iced Vanilla Sugar Free Latte w/ Extra Shot and made my way to the gate And then the adventure really began!

I started talking to the girl next to me while waiting for them to clear the standby seats. She could have been me- Blonde, 28, Lives a block away from me, Mom works for America West. I luckily managed to get the last seat on the plane, said my goodbyes to my new friend and boarded the play. Yay, I was finally on my way. As soon as I got on the plane and was putting my bags into the overhead compartment the stewardess came running after me! Turns out one of the paying passengers showed up at the last minute and in the blink of an eye I was back in the airport. As the gate agent checked the outgoing flights it became apparent that we weren’t getting out today. In addition to the girl that I was talking to earlier, we had been joined by a guy our age- 26. Helicopter Pilot living in Chandler, Arizona. No flights out of LA we tried Long Beach. Orange County and then, wait there is one with seats going out of Burbank in 2 hours! YAY! With plenty of time too!!! Or so we thought.

So we all took the shuttle to my car and started the trek up to Burbank.. Now I’ve been known to pick up a stranger while at a bar drinking but to do it at an airport, SOBER- now that was a first! But of course we weren’t strangers for long considering in traffic it took us 2 hours to get up to Burbank! We finally arrived at the airport and started to run as I threw my keys at the Valet Parker. You might be thinking what kind of ass Valets their car at the airport? The know of ass that only has 15 minutes to make their flight!!! So we talked our way to the front of the security line and without time to put back on our shoes literally ran barefoot through the airport to the gate and we got there just in time! They were just closing the doors! Looks like all those hours on that damn elliptical machine paid off :)

I finally made it to Phoenix an hour later. A little delayed. Tired from not eating anything but my Starbucks- although some wouldn’t consider coffee a meal! In Phoenix and with a few new friends to party with while I am in town. All in all, not a bad adventure to kick off my vacation- can’t wait to see what’s in store next!

The Curse of Baja

2006-02-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

Meredith: My college campus has a magic statue. It’s a longstanding tradition for students to rub its nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power and insisted on visiting it to rub its nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea, she flunked out her sophomore year. The fact is, we all have little superstitious things we do. If it’s not believing in magic statues, it’s avoiding sidewalk cracks or always putting our left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mothers back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.
Greys Anatomy

I should start by saying, yes I am superstitious. I believe in Karma. I wish on stars. I believe that the energy changes during the full moon. I don’t like to eat meat because I feel that everything has energy and once you kill something and eat it, that negative energy transfers to you. I stay away from black cats. I throw pennies into every fountain I come across. So it shouldn’t surprise you that I believe in curses. And more importantly that I found my own little curse yesterday down in Baja. But let me start at the beginning…

There is this tiny one room wooden church in Puerto Nuevo that has always fascinated me. So yesterday while passing through I decided to light a candle. Even though my faith lies more in Buddhism, my Old Catholic ways still creep in every now and then. As I went to the alter I noticed that there weren’t any matches or sticks to light the candle. I should have taken that as a sign to not light it!!! Instead I followed a friend’s advice and lit a piece of paper on fire and tried to light it that way. Now hers lit perfectly but when I came to do mine the entire paper went up in flames, I dropped it into the candle and proceeded to set the entire candle aflame! It would be bad enough that I tried to burn down a little wooden church but while this was going on I flipped out and said a few words you shouldn’t say in church- fuck and shit being among them!

And the curse began… From there we managed to get lost on the way back through Tijuana. And let me tell you there is nothing like an hour-long detour through the slums of Mexico with no idea where you are, how you got there, or how to get back to the border! By the time we finally found our way back I needed a nice cold margarita and to be in the US. But of course due to some forgotten produce (Those damn two lemons!) we got stopped at the border and had to go to the secondary inspection! While they were emptying out the car and looking for other hidden produce, my friend decided that the best way to get us out of there would be to pimp me! And no I didn’t agree to this. Shock of all shocks it worked- but he actually said: “No I don’t want her number but you guys can go now”, with a smirk on his face. At this point a red faced Hardt put her head down in shame and just prayed to be at home in her nice warm bed.

So today I’ll be searching for four leaf clovers and forgotten pennies on the ground and try and switch up my luck a little!!! After all, how long can the curse of Baja last…

Gidget does Christmas

2005-12-21T16:44:00.000-08:00

“Surfing is like making love. It always feels good,
No matter how many times you’ve done it”
Paul Strand

People ask me all the time why I love California so much. And you only have to look at a day like today to understand why. 80 degrees at the beach with a perfect swell coming in, 10-15 foot waves breaking perfectly. Now that might seem like a great summer day to you, but it in fact is a fantastic winter dream! It’s 33 in New York, 21 in Chicago and currently 79 in Malibu. This is why I live in California. I have traveled all over the globe. Seen many different climates, countries, people... and most elsewhere I would be bundled up in my winter warmest looking like Ralphie from A Christmas Story and instead I am taking out the Bikini and getting some sun.It’s 4 days till Christmas and instead of making a snowman I’m planning to head out of work early (gotta love those Hiatus weeks), grab my board, my wetsuit and my new man and heading up to County Line to enjoy the waves. Looks like Santa is bringing me just what I want for Christmas- Some warm weather, some breathtaking waves, and Mr. Brazil. What more could I ask for? I may not have the feelings for Mr. Brazil like I did for Mr. Arizona. I wonder if I ever will. Or if I will ever get over this feeling of emptiness that I seem to have since he left. But for now I’m enjoying uncomplicated. And a little uncomplicated and fun is just what I need right now. Looks like this is shaping up to be one hell of a winter break…

The end of another romance...

2005-11-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

“There are plenty of good ways to break up with someone
and it doesn't include a Post-It.”
Sex and the City

Carrie Bradshaw might have gotten a post-it, but all I got was a text message. Which actually was fitting since Mr. Arizona and I spent more time text messaging than we did in person, that's what happens when you date someone in a different state. I’m not surprised the break up happened. I knew it was never going to work out. He lived a state away and neither of us wanted anything long distance. I always knew he would start to see someone else, after all he starting seeing me when he had a girlfriend. I always knew it was casual. I even spent Saturday night getting to know Mr. Brazil a little better. But surprisingly it still hurt. I always thought that if he and I ever got our shit together at the same time we would work out. Turns out we both were ready for a relationship at the same time, the only problem was I was ready for one with him and he was ready for one with someone else. We always did have bad timing.

As I sit here once again in the Phoenix airport and drowning my sorrows (and a few tears) in my beer I started to think about the men in my life. The one’s I’ve thrown away, the ones that have thrown me away, and those few that have stuck with me through all of them. I’ve met some amazing guys, and some not so amazing guys, but I’ve never met Mr. Right. I’ve meet Mr. Right now but the actual Mr. Right has alluded me. Normally a break-up would have me giving up hope that my true soul mate is out there, but I spent the weekend with two couples that showed me what it really means to be in love, my parents and my grandparents. I flew out to Ohio over the weekend to spend time with my family and to be there while my grandmother had surgery. It wasn’t a major surgery, but she’s been in bad health so any surgery turns into a major operation.

My grandfather refused to eat while my grandmother was in surgery. Even after she was in recovery he wouldn’t eat until she woke up. We sat there from 6 in the morning until she woke up at 2 that afternoon. Everyone coming and going to pass the time. But he wouldn’t budge. And you should have seen his face when she finally woke up. It was an expression of true love that I’ve never seen. And as soon as he got to her side, she grabbed him around the neck, pulled him towards her, and gave him a romantic only seen in the movies kiss. After 60 years they are just falling more and more in love with each other every day. And while she slept he just sat there staring at her face. One hand holding hers and the other rubbing her hair. The rest of us read, and talked, and watched TV. But he would just sit there and watch her. Her guardian angel.

That night I watched my parents leave the hospital holding hands. After 40 years they can’t go more than a few minutes without touching each other. Last weekend they had to sleep on couches since there weren’t enough beds for everyone. But they refused to sleep on separate couches. Instead they even slept head to foot on the couch so they can fit. I asked my mom, why not sleep apart. She responded, we don’t sleep apart. It’s amazing that after all those years they still crave each other’s touch.

After spending time with them I realized soul mates really do exist. Sometimes you find your soul mate when you are in kindergarten, sometimes you find them right next door, and sometimes they find you when you least expect it.