Life of a Standby Traveler on the busiest day of the year… AKA Hardt Hates Holiday Travel

4:30am Alarm goes off
4:35am Coffee
4:45am Second Cup of Coffee
5:30am Arrive at airport. Excited because there is no line at the kiosk so I can check in right away. Insert credit card into the machine- NO RESERVATION it says. Ok, I try looking it up by last name- NO RESERVATION it says. So I proceed directly to the ticket counter. YAY a reservation, turns out my mom couldn’t spell our last name right, it was just hart.
5:45am Stand in the longest line ever for security. Outside. Smack dab in the middle of a puddle. In the rain. With no umbrella. Yea I can already tell this is going to be a great day.
6:00am Make it through security, but am the asshole in the security line that forgot my cell phone in my pocket. Hold up line. Currently everyone is loving me!
6:30am First oversold flight takes off without me. Not a seat to be had… and of course all the monitors are out so I have to trek back through security to find out where my next gate is.
8:00am Third oversold flight of the day takes off, yea you can see a pattern here. Though have been enjoying watching all the angry people at the airport. Who can be this angry at only 8 in the morning! Though I have to say I don’t think it is wise to be an asshole to the ticket agents, especially if you are the one who is an hour late for your flight. But of course he got the last seat on the plan so maybe there is something to this yelling thing after all! Officially hate holiday travel!
8:15am Sitting outside waiting for Super Shuttle to take me from LAX to John Wayne Airport in Orange County. There is a seat on a plane for me...YAY!
8:20am Wondering if it’s too early for a drink?
8:30am Finally on the shuttle bus and we are listening to Christmas music. Things are looking up!
10:00am At John Wayne Airport, FINALLY. 2nd Airport. 2nd Security check point. And a new observation- these new divisions for security check points (family, casual and expert) really do not work. At both airports this morning the shortest lines were the family and liquid lines, and the longest lines were the expert traveler one (and everyone except me had liquids. To which I say- READ THE FREAKIN SIGNS PEOPLE!). But on a bright note I managed to gash my wrist with the ring I am wearing, so now am dripping blood and look like I attempted to kill myself!
11:11am Finally on airplane… getting very very sleepy… nap time!
11:30am Woken up from nap by the most insane turbulence. Half asleep but hear call button and emergency… at this point I’m ready to assume my position with my head between my legs and say a few hail marys if necessary.
1:15pm Finally off the airplane. Kiss the ground in Phoenix and am stumbling to the nearest bar…

Planes...Trains...and Traffic!

After a week of 15 hour works days while trying to come down from a 3-day bender from the weekend before, I was looking forward to 3 days in Arizona with the family. Sleeping. Laying in the Sun. Hiking. Drinking Margaritas all day long Basically just putting the past 7 days behind me and refresh. It was a great idea, the only problem was making it out there.

I began my journey at 11 am on Friday morning It was a gray dismal rainy day in Southern California- I couldn't wait to make it to the warmth of the desert! After managing to find a great parking space at the airport, I got there with enough time to grab my usual at Starbucks- Iced Vanilla Sugar Free Latte w/ Extra Shot and made my way to the gate And then the adventure really began!

I started talking to the girl next to me while waiting for them to clear the standby seats. She could have been me- Blonde, 28, Lives a block away from me, Mom works for America West. I luckily managed to get the last seat on the plane, said my goodbyes to my new friend and boarded the play. Yay, I was finally on my way. As soon as I got on the plane and was putting my bags into the overhead compartment the stewardess came running after me! Turns out one of the paying passengers showed up at the last minute and in the blink of an eye I was back in the airport. As the gate agent checked the outgoing flights it became apparent that we weren’t getting out today. In addition to the girl that I was talking to earlier, we had been joined by a guy our age- 26. Helicopter Pilot living in Chandler, Arizona. No flights out of LA we tried Long Beach. Orange County and then, wait there is one with seats going out of Burbank in 2 hours! YAY! With plenty of time too!!! Or so we thought.

So we all took the shuttle to my car and started the trek up to Burbank.. Now I’ve been known to pick up a stranger while at a bar drinking but to do it at an airport, SOBER- now that was a first! But of course we weren’t strangers for long considering in traffic it took us 2 hours to get up to Burbank! We finally arrived at the airport and started to run as I threw my keys at the Valet Parker. You might be thinking what kind of ass Valets their car at the airport? The know of ass that only has 15 minutes to make their flight!!! So we talked our way to the front of the security line and without time to put back on our shoes literally ran barefoot through the airport to the gate and we got there just in time! They were just closing the doors! Looks like all those hours on that damn elliptical machine paid off :)

I finally made it to Phoenix an hour later. A little delayed. Tired from not eating anything but my Starbucks- although some wouldn’t consider coffee a meal! In Phoenix and with a few new friends to party with while I am in town. All in all, not a bad adventure to kick off my vacation- can’t wait to see what’s in store next!