Hardt, the Puma.

I don’t know where to start on my weekend… so I guess I will start at the beginning- Friday.

Friday Night- After a very exciting first week of work I decided some steam needed to be blown off with the new co-workers. After work we stumbled down to the hotel bar for some drinks. Or at least that was the plan. Instead we ended up with shot after shot after shot at Martini Bay and then headed over to Kokomos (the spring break crazy club at the resort) and managed some more shots and a few rides on the bull. And yes I rode the bull. And yes I was so sore yesterday from it, complete with bruises and marks. Once the room started to spin it was time for some much needed food in my belly (Jack In the Box of course!) and bed. All in all a fun night, a bit crazy but a great way to bond with the co-workers.

Testosterone Saturday-Now I started the day off with a raging hangover but luckily was able to rev it up enough for a ride on the jet skis… which was amazing. There is something completely freeing being out there on the lake, wind in my hair and just going as fast as possible over all the bumps and waves. And yes I did get even sorer after that ride but it was so worth it. Not only did I have a blast doing it, it felt good to know that I was able to keep up with 3 23 year old boys out there! After the jet skis we went for a short dip in the pool (with beers of course) and then headed out on the Pontoon boat for the rest of the afternoon. 4 hours later I think I have finally seen all of Lake Havasu, and I have to say it’s spectacular!!! We docked in Cooper Canyon for awhile.

Cooper Canyon

And if you’ve never been it’s something that’s impossible to describe. All the boats tie up to each other and join in on the party boats with the dj’s and it’s just a big drunk spring break mess. Everyone is just dancing in their bathing suits, though with a lot of the girls that suit was just PASTIES. Yes it seems outside of the stripper world girls do wear those out, and in Lake Havasu it seems to be completely normal that all the girls are just wearing pasties. The other appeal of Cooper Canyon is the cliff jumping. You climb up the cliffs by a tow rope, get to the highest point and just jump. It was summed up perfectly by one of the guys I was with: “Water just shot up my ass. I literally was raped by Lake Havasu”. After mooring there for a bit we headed over to the Naked Turtle where I found the best bar in Havasu. It’s this Tiki bar out on the island, complete with rum drinks and Jimmy Buffet!

Naked Turtle

After the Naked Turtle it was home to the hotel to get changed before my night out with the boys. And by boys I mean it was me and 6 boys for the night. Yes my odds were good! We started back at the Naked Turtle but then quickly progressed to Midget Wrestling. Yes you read that right, we went to midget wrestling. And it wasn’t like I thought, little Midgets wrestling each other. Instead it was some crazy jackass style fighting. Complete with a midget drinking his own pee, one showing how he can do doggie style like the best of them (standing up!). stapling dollar bills to each other’s heads and tongues (complete with Midget Blood) and then fighting with props (sledgehammer, trash can, chairs). All in all it was the most extreme and most disgusting thing I have seen in a really long time! Seriously not what I expected and something that I hope to NEVER see again. Luckily they were offering PBR’s pint size for only 3 dollars, though I have to say I didn’t have enough to actual be able to stand Midget Wrestling. After that we all were a little off, so we headed back over the bridge to Kokomos where I partied with the 23 year olds until 2 (complete with another bull ride), did a little hot tubing until 3 and then it was off to bed. All in all a great weekend and am exhausted. Nap time for poor little Hardt…