Who says you can't go home?

"Thanks, and for more than for just what you said… For everything over the years. For loving me. For believing in me. For being you"
Mr. Wyoming

This has been a really hard weekend- one that I can’t go into too much detail about. But it’s been an emotional rollercoaster. I flew out to Arizona for a biopsy my mom was having. Two years ago she was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer. Luckily they caught it really early and after a lumpectomy and radiation she was cancer-free. This year they found a lump in her neck so large that when she turns certain angles you can see it poking out. Unfortunately the doctor didn't have any miracle news for her. We will have to wait another two weeks for the biopsy reports to come back. She said pretty much what we thought- that of the two nodules one will be fine with no problems and one is the cancerous one. Of course the one that has no problem is the large one that is pressing against her neck- so yes the entire thyroid most likely will have to come out. In the next two weeks we will be able to confirm if it is thyroid cancer or if her breast cancer has metastasized. After that we will be able to figure out the best treatment and start this fun process once again. She's holding up really well. She has her good days and bad. On her good days she's off golfing, at her painting class, playing bunko with the girls. Basically just enjoying everything that life has to offer. On her bad days she in a lot more pain, is tired, sore, annoyed with all the doctors for not being able to help her and basically just giving up on ever having a cure. That was the hardest part for me to see while I was at home. To have my vibrant mother reduced to trying to pick fights with my father and I just because she is nervous and is having a hard time handling everything. You can imagine this trip home involved a lot of yelling, screaming, and tears.

It also was a hard trip because of my beloved dog- Sooner. It looks like he had a stroke on Saturday, and he has been having a hard time walking over the past few months. So we discussed what needs to be done with him, if it should be at home, and if I wanted to be there when it happens. He gets a month or two reprieve based on selfish reasons on our family's part- the only thing that made my mom feel better after her first surgery was him laying in bed with her. So until she gets through all this she wants him right there besides her. It will be bitter sweet when she finally ends her treatments because it will be mean saying goodbye to someone who has been my shadow for the last 17 years.

Of course the entire weekend wasn't horrible. I got to spend a lot of time with both of my parents. I got to eat my favorite meals. I got to spend a lot of time in the sun, oh I've missed that hot Arizona sun! And spent a drunken night on the town with Mr. Arizona with no worries and a lot of laughs. I hiked my favorite Mountain and got a little easy rock climbing in. Though in the end I really missed being with everyone in LA. It's going to be a hard couple of month going back and forth and eventually staying for weeks at a time in Phoenix. Because sometimes on a Saturday night what I need more than anything is to have a couple of glasses with my girls and go back to a simpler time. Where parents aren't sick. And dogs are just puppies. Where boys are things are avoid. And the sun meant we could stay out a few more hours before we had to be home. Because sometimes in the winter that sunset comes just a little too fast.