The last few months have been hard ones for me… My life seems to be on a rollercoaster that I’m not use to. Too many goodbyes. And funerals. And ends. And changes… but it's the goodbye that I couldn't say that is going to haunt me the longest. We all work too many hours. Have too many things to do. Not enough time in the day. Don't get enough sleep… but in the end those are all selfish excuses that we tell ourselves… for the last few years I have been using my job and my life as an excuse to why I haven't stayed in touch with many people in my life. I've let some friendships fall by the wayside due to time and distance. I left New York 5 years ago and have never looked back. I have seen friends at Weddings and reunions and a few short trips back east… but have basically gone on with my life… Over the last year I have tried to make a trip back to New York multiple times and every time something has come up… A new job. A trip to Vegas that I just had to go on. A new pair of shoes instead of a plane ticket. It has never seemed all that urgent for me to get back… after all it's only been a couple of years and the city and my friends will still there… It is that selfish thought that has been running through my head… And today it became really apparent how selfish that really was... How selfish I was.
A year and a half into my stay in New York I met someone who would change my life forever- Stephanie Martini. She took me into her family and made me feel at home in a city that could have easily swallowed me up… and outside of my parents she is the person who had the most influence on shaping who I am. I only wish I could have told her exactly how much… She would have been the most surprised and proud of who I have become and how much I have changed my life… Most of you have made fun of my "Martha Stewart" ways. My crazy healthy eating habits. My inability to serve chips out of a plastic bag. My fondness for cocktail hours and more importantly martini glasses. The hatred of parties with plastic cups… That is all because of Stephanie. She introduced me to Cosmopolitans before they became fashionable on Sex in the City. Taught me to love Vegetarian food and yoga. Set me up with my first Apartment in Los Angeles. Let me stay in their apartment whenever I needed a place to crash, be it for a night, a weekend, or a summer. Over the last year I have reminded myself to call or email her, and yet something always came up that I felt was more important. When I found out she was sick I tried numerous times to write her an email but nothing seemed adequate... I told myself that when she is feeling better we will be able to catch up… turns out that I am not going to get that chance. And that it something I will always regret.
So I sit here tonight and tell you to stop making excuses. You have the time! You aren't that busy! Your job isn't that important! That phone call only takes a minute. That email even less. Don't sit there saying there is always tomorrow. Because there isn't. Don't waste the time. Tell that person that you love them. Catch up with that friend that you've lost touch with. Hug whoever it is that you come home to. Call your family, your friends, your lover… everyone who touches your life. Show them that you care. It doesn't take a lot to say thank you. We come in and out of each other lives so easily… and it's just as easy to remember as it's been to forget. My father told me something when I was little… it didn't mean anything to me then, but the older I get the more I realize how right he was. He told me it is better to regret the things we have done, than to regret the things we were to afraid to do… Don't let fear, or time, or ambivalence stop you… because at the end of the day you don't want to look back and know that it's too late.
A year and a half into my stay in New York I met someone who would change my life forever- Stephanie Martini. She took me into her family and made me feel at home in a city that could have easily swallowed me up… and outside of my parents she is the person who had the most influence on shaping who I am. I only wish I could have told her exactly how much… She would have been the most surprised and proud of who I have become and how much I have changed my life… Most of you have made fun of my "Martha Stewart" ways. My crazy healthy eating habits. My inability to serve chips out of a plastic bag. My fondness for cocktail hours and more importantly martini glasses. The hatred of parties with plastic cups… That is all because of Stephanie. She introduced me to Cosmopolitans before they became fashionable on Sex in the City. Taught me to love Vegetarian food and yoga. Set me up with my first Apartment in Los Angeles. Let me stay in their apartment whenever I needed a place to crash, be it for a night, a weekend, or a summer. Over the last year I have reminded myself to call or email her, and yet something always came up that I felt was more important. When I found out she was sick I tried numerous times to write her an email but nothing seemed adequate... I told myself that when she is feeling better we will be able to catch up… turns out that I am not going to get that chance. And that it something I will always regret.
So I sit here tonight and tell you to stop making excuses. You have the time! You aren't that busy! Your job isn't that important! That phone call only takes a minute. That email even less. Don't sit there saying there is always tomorrow. Because there isn't. Don't waste the time. Tell that person that you love them. Catch up with that friend that you've lost touch with. Hug whoever it is that you come home to. Call your family, your friends, your lover… everyone who touches your life. Show them that you care. It doesn't take a lot to say thank you. We come in and out of each other lives so easily… and it's just as easy to remember as it's been to forget. My father told me something when I was little… it didn't mean anything to me then, but the older I get the more I realize how right he was. He told me it is better to regret the things we have done, than to regret the things we were to afraid to do… Don't let fear, or time, or ambivalence stop you… because at the end of the day you don't want to look back and know that it's too late.
