Handprints on the glass...

On my drive home from San Diego today I got to thinking about great sex… we’ve all had enough bad sex, and mediocre sex and just going-through-the-motions sex to really appreciate it when it gets GOOD… But it’s hard to pinpoint what it is that makes it good. I’ve had horrible sex with guys I’ve been in love with and fantastic sex with guys I haven’t. I’ve been with large, small, pierced, circumcised, uncircumcised… I’ve had the passionate sex and the crazy positions and the interesting locales… but sometimes it’s just great without a reason. Because great passion doesn’t always come from great love. Though great love does some times result in great passion… That passion though, often comes from some place else, the question is where?

It then got me to thinking about sexual ruts. Yea I know, I had way too much time on my hands during my drive home but we all get into a rut sometimes with our partners. We see them in and out most days, and sometimes the sex life becomes just as routine as the rest of our life… but if you don’t have a chance to get into a rhythm or a rut with someone, does that mean it will stay good. Or is it only good right now for me, because there isn’t a chance to get into a rut. Because I will admit it- I’ve been having some pretty fantastic sex lately. And although there is an attempt to make it a weekly “routine” so far there isn’t anything routine about it. It’s crazy, out of the box, passionate handprints on the glass door kind of sex... But as much as I love a good crazy night of sex, there also is a moment that I crave more than that, it’s the moment while I am sleeping. It’s the moment when someone reaches for me in the middle of the night, and just as they are snuggling close I can feel a kiss on the back of my shoulder. It’s the moment that I feel a tug at my heartstrings. Because it’s not done to get anything back. It’s not done to initiate sex. It’s done just because they just can’t keep their lips off of you. And it’s the moment that makes me keep coming back. Back to good sex. Back to bad sex. And back to sex that I know is bad for me. So for all the naysayer out there that this week have asked me, what the hell are you doing- it’s that moment. That is what I’m doing…

Postcards from the edge

Ok I guess its confession time. I was hoping to delay it. Partly because I know I will get flack from my girls for it and partly because he still reads my blogs, but here goes- I spent part of the week in San Diego with (gasp!) Mr. Green. Now it’s not what you are probably thinking. It wasn’t a last ditch effort to try and convince him to make us work. In fact over the last few weeks I realized that’s never going to happen. I’ve also realized that as much as I would like that, it’s probably not what I need in my life right now. I’ve finally gotten my life back on track and am thoroughly enjoying having my mojo back… including enjoyed having cute men send over bottles of champagne during nights out with my girls this week. But that’s an entirely different story, lets get back to the one with Mr. G and my road trip down south… For the first time since probably our first date I was able to just spend time with him and enjoy that time. There weren’t any worries of when will I see him again, or where is this going or the dreaded why don’t you want to be in a relationship talk. Instead there was just some food, some laughs and some great sex… yes I said it, we did have sex, sex in the living room, sex in the bedroom, sex on the kitchen table... I mean come on, you know I wasn’t going down there for DINNER! The only negative thing that came out of my trip was I realized just how much time this summer I wasted trying to figure out what was going on between us instead of just enjoying what we had. I spent way too much time pushing him away. Too much time trying to make him into the “boyfriend” and not enough time just enjoying who he was. And it seems that now that I can take out the expectations, what I am left with is someone who I enjoy spending time with, someone who I am able to have political discussions with, someone who enjoys eating as much as I do (yea I know that’s odd, but such a plus), someone who really doesn’t mind the extra weight on my middle but instead finds my insanely sexy just as I am, and most importantly someone whom I’m very sexually compatible with. Not to mention he did look very sexy leaving for work in a suit on Friday morning...

And it was nice to know that he missed me, and yes for once it was him telling me how much I was missed! And it was nice that for once he wanted me to stay longer instead of thinking of me as someone he had to entertain and a chore. In fact within 20 minutes of me being there he was trying to get me to call in sick the next day so we could spend more time together. And it was nice for once to get an invite down to San Diego, he has since suggested we make this more of a weekly arrangement. Something I could definitely get use to… but for now I’m just happy the way things are going in my life. And maybe there will be a new romance, I have drinks with Mr. USC next week, maybe there will be an old romance rekindled… but for now it’s nice to know that at this moment I really am just happy.

And on leaving Mr. G’s place Friday morning I went to get a glass of water from the fridge and had to smile at what was on it, the post card I had sent from Jamaica. Because as much as he had tried in these last few weeks to make me think he was happy to have me out of his life, I certainly wasn’t forgotten… and that also is nice to know.

My best of New York!

A friend called today asking for food suggestions while he was in New York… which got me to thinking about my favorite places that I use to haunt while I lived there. So I put together a list for him of the best of New York. Now you have to remember he is a straight guy in his mid 20's, from San Diego who spends more time smoking pot than in restaurants that demand a tie. In fact when I asked him what kind of food he was looking for his exact response was more like the burger and fry places… so here is the list of my best places for comfort food. Oh and deserts because every time I hang out with him the date will always end with Ice Cream!

Best Fries:
Pomes Frites
123 Second Avenue (St. Marks Place Area, East Village)
http://www.pommesfrites.ws/
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say one of the best fries in the WORLD not just in New York. You're only option is Regular, Large or Double Belgium Fries, but the real reason to go is for one of the almost 30 dipping sauces that you can choose from. My personal favorite was a mix of salsa and mayo and was to die for!!!

Best Burger:
Cozy Soup and Burger
739 Broadway (Washington Square Area, Village)
http://www.cozysoupnburger.com/
Now this burger (and burger joint) is by no means fancy or exotic. Here is the reason I love it- it's loosely packed ground beef so if you get the cheese burger the cheese melts all the way through the burger instead of being just on top. So it becomes a cheesy burger vs. a cheese burger. This also was a favorite of mine due to it's location in the Village and its closeness to both NYU and all the dorms- plus it stayed up all night!

Best BBQ:
Virgil's
152 W. 44th Street (Time Square Area)
http://www.virgilsbbq.com/
Now many people think that this place is too touristy, but one of the reasons I loved it is because I worked on Broadway and off-Broadway for many years and it was close to where I worked and had amazing food. Now I was never that into BBQ, but was obsessed with their Train Wreck Fries- Cheddar Cheese, Bacon, Scallions, Jalapeños and Ranch Dressing!

Best Hot Dog:
Grays Papaya
402 6th Ave. (Washington Square Area, West Village)
2090 Broadway (71st Street, Upper West Side)
Now I'm sure there are other amazing dogs out there in NY (and many will say nothing can come close to a Chicago Hot Dog) but Grays Papaya is an institution in New York, especially when you are a college student on a budget or drunk with the munchies in the wee hours of the morning.

Best Wings:
Firehouse
522 Columbus Ave. (Upper East Side)
http://firehousetavern.com/
Their Sexy Fries and Buffalo Wings are amazing…. Especially when you dip the fries in the buffalo sauce. Wings come in flavors of Mild, Medium, Hot, Inferno, Jerk, Bubba or BBQ. And wash it all down with an ice cold beer!

Best Bar:
Swifts
34 E. 14th Street (lower Village)
This Irish Pub is by far the most laid back one in the city… with sessions every Tuesday Night (at least they use to when I was in school). Now this one was my personal Cheers so that's why it made my list. But like Pizza places, every corner in New York has another cool bar. My personal favorites are more pub/dive less trendy 15 dollar cosmo places.

TIE Best Deserts:
Veniero's
342 E. 11th Street (East Village)
http://www.venierospastry.com/
Best Italian Bakery… Enough Said!

TIE Best Deserts:
Serendipity
225 E. 60th Street (Upper East Side)
http://www.serendipity3.com/main.htm
This is the corner ice cream shop that you have only dreamed about… World renounced for their Frozen Hot Chocolate. Usually there is a huge wait, but it is open until 3am and the wait does go down in the later hours, but it's worth every minute of it!

Best Pizza:
Joe's
7 Carmine Street
http://www.famousjoespizza.com/
This one is my personally favorite… but in New York you can't throw a stone without hitting a good pizza place. The key is that it's more like a Pizza Stand and less like a restaurant. You want thin crust and very greasy!