Dive or Bust... Days 7 and 8

Our last full day was packed with activity… after another early start I had an extremely long swim in the ocean along the shore. Though I did sort of underestimated the current and on the way back, I admit I did have a bit of the panic when I realized I was out in the middle of the ocean, with no one around me, no real shore to swim to and lot and lots of chances to get eaten by a shark… luckily I made it back to my finish without harm. But spent the rest of the morning sunning myself in the pool.

After lunch we headed out to Negril for a little shopping and Ricks. Ricks Café was my one must do on the island. It’s a huge bar that is known for their cliff diving. I was envisioning a very Traveling Pants type moment with all of us jumping off the cliff together. But by the time we got there everyone else seemed to manage to injure themselves and thought that a jump of the cliff was not in their best interest. But once again I trekked through and did the jump! Mind you I wasn’t able to do the very high one but did manage the lower and middle ones, and I have to say 30 feet was enough for me! A little disappointed in myself that I didn’t have the nerve to do the highest one, but knew I was probably pushing my luck if I tried that one. And going home in a cast was not what was on my to do list for this trip! But after doing my 3 jumps I was able to sit back, have a beer and listen to the reggae music while watching the sun set… and I have to say I was in heaven!!!

Now I’m just sitting outside on our last day (day 8!) and enjoying a little of the sun before we leave. I’m sad to be leaving what I can only describe as Paradise. I had an amazing time on this island! I’ve had lots of girl time but I’ve also had plenty of time to myself to kind of think and figure out things in my life. Lots and lots of revelations, some good…. Some not so good. And I think I might finally be brave enough to make a few changes in my life when I get back. I’m nervous, scared and excited at the same time. I’m started a new chapter in my life, and luckily I’m going to be able to start it with a nice tan!

XXOO,
Hardt

Pearls before swine… Jamaica Day 4

4 days in Paradise really have started to give me perspective on my life…. Maybe because it’s given me time to think, living without TV, phone, and bad internet connection will do that to you. Maybe because I’ve seen how much of my life I take for granted and how many things are really unnecessary… or maybe it’s because I was bitten by my prince charming- Literally since my horse named Prince bit me in the leg today. I realized many things on my journey so far, the first being I need to start to look at things more half full than half empty. Since breaking up with Mr. NakedBartender I’ve fallen into this depression of sorts about being “single and without kids”… but the fact of the matter is I have my entire life ahead of me. I realized this week how exciting it is to know that I have my best moments ahead of me. That moment when I meet the man I’m going to marry, the look my father will give me as he give me away on my wedding day, seeing my children for the first time, meeting my grandchildren… All those great moments, are ahead of me. It’s not depressing or sad not having had those yet, it’s exhilarating knowing that those are just around the corner or even just around a lifetime!

Except for my revelations, today has been pretty chill… I once again woke up around 5 to watch the sunset, had a cup of coffee and then decided to head back to bed until around 8. We were off at 10 to go Horseback riding on the Paradise Plantation. And I have to say there is something to be said for riding a horse through the beach looking up at the mountains of Jamaica. After our ride through the plantation we headed back to the house for what was the best Jerk Chicken Lunch I have ever experienced! Seriously trying to figure out how to sneak the chef back into the country in my suitcase!!!!

After lunch we tried to venture out into the water, but due to a crazy current, a high tide due to an incoming storm and a little accident that happened to Stitz (her second fall of the trip but at least her legs match on bruises and scrapes!) we decided to scratch the swim and instead just headed into our own pool, where multiple “fruity rum drinks” we brought to us on a silver tray… tonight will be another low key night of playing cards and listening to reggae because tomorrow will be another jam packed day- A trip down the Dune River, hiking up YS falls, and then a boat ride to Pelican Bar which is located 20 minutes off shore on a sand bar!

Despite all the fun… really missing everyone back home! So once again sending my love from the Islands… wish everyone was here with me today!

XXOO,
Hardt

PS Animal Count as of Day 4: A cow without a tail, a black hawk and these crazy crabs that were swarming the beach! Though the best part of the day, my horse was named Prince and he BIT me. I met a prince and only ended up with a bite mark...kind of telling, Right?!

Ya Mon… Jamaica Day 3

There is only one word I need to use to describe today- WOW! Started off my morning at 5 am by once again having coffee over looking the ocean. Another crazy storm had gone through over night but by five it was peaceful and calm, with a perfect breeze and not a cloud in the sky as the sun rose over the mountains. I have to say I love that when I get up there is coffee waiting for me and the table set for our 6am breakfast… There was an early start this morning since we were off zip lining in the Rainforest just outside of Ochos Rios, a nice two and a half hour drive from Bluefields. So after breakfast, we were packed into our van and we were off on our adventure. Once again during the journey I was overwhelmed by the traditions here in Jamaica. I watched all the school children in the freshly pressed and colorful uniforms heading off to school on the busses and all their parents waiting for those same buses to take them to work. There were men carrying bags of rice on the road, groups of guys heading into construction jobs on plenty of new resorts, and woman in uniforms heading to the ones that already existed.

Around 9:30 we finally reached Chauka for our zip lining tour, met our guides (Anthony, Junior and the oh so delectable Andrew) and hoped into this open backed safari van and headed up the mountain. Getting up there was interesting all in itself, straight up a mountain dirt road and we finally got to catch a glimpse of the locals smoking some ganja! Upon arrival at the top of the mountain I was harnessed a little tightly into my gear, making me wish I didn’t partake so much in the pork chops and mango run drinks the night before! But quickly we learned why so tight! The entire experience was mind-blowing… just clipped onto a rope hanging between trees and zipping down a mountain gave me a rush I’ve never experienced. Unfortunately I quickly earned the nickname “Brave One” from our tour guides, and let’s just say if it was possible to make me go down at lightening speed on some of the runs they did! Let me tell you the one that I went just straight down on I almost pee’d my pants because instead of using the break at the bottom on me they just let me drop… and FAST! It was an experience I will never forget, and one that has me so ready for my next adventure in heights- Sky Diving. Though that one will have to wait until I get back to the states, I’m adventuresome not stupid!

After hiking back towards basecamp we stopped, changed, and had a picnic lunch. Once again grateful for our chef, because instead of the Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches that you would expect, we had homemade banana nut bread and the most amazing breaded chicken that I have ever had! Though part of that might have been because I worked up an appetite and part of that might have been because our driver even gave it to us on china with real silverware! And the highlight of our packed lunch- the cooler they packed us with water, sodas, and BEER!

Once our tummies were full we were ready to adventure out again. This time to Dune River Falls were we thought we would do a little hiking around a waterfall. WRONG. Instead our guide took us on a hike straight up a 600 foot waterfall. We had to hold hands like school children and then climbed straight against the current through the water. It was exhilarating, amazing and frightening all at the same time!

After an exhausting day, I’m once again laying in bed listening to the waves and the jungle as my eyes are slowly starting to close… tomorrow will bring an exciting new adventure of Horseback Riding on the beach, a lie out by the pool and then a nice little kayak in the ocean… can’t wait to wake up to another day in Paradise!

Sending all my love from the Islands,
XXOO
Hardt

PS- Additional animals to add to my count: A donkey, lots of crazy bugs including the one who flew out of my towel at me at 5:00 this morning wanting to play, peacocks- including a white one that I didn’t know even existed and I kid you not- Sheep!

Club Paradise, Jamaican Style… Day 2

Day 2 was one of the most relaxing days of my life… it pretty much just involved lazing around, drinking rum drinks that were brought to me on a silver tray (by our favorite butler Aldean), catching up on my reading and emails, swimming in the pool and basically just staring at the clouds and waves.

I started off the morning being woken up by one of the most amazing sounds in the world- the sounds of waves crashing along the beach mixed with intense rain. It seems that the tail of Hurricane Ike had finally arrived on my small Island… I laid in bed for hours just listening to the sound of the wind and watching the lightning on the water- oh yes I can just open my doors and there is the ocean! There is something to be said for French doors that just open into Paradise. I’m about as far away from Los Angeles as possible! Luckily the bulk of the storm happened around 4am so by 7 I was sitting outside on the veranda with my coffee just staring at the turquoise water wondering how I’m ever going to be able to leave this place. One of the best things about this Villa is that there are no windows, at least glass ones that is. And upstairs is just a completely open house. There are some walls, a few doors leading to other rooms but the rooms just open up to outside. It reminds me of living in a tree house.

The rest of the day flew by in a haze of Planters Punch, sun and rain…Throughout the day the storm would start up again and we’d have to pack up all our gear and head inside, though really with the well trained staff it was more like they packed up our gear for us while we waited where it was dry! I have to say it’s one of the oddest things to have a “staff”… here at Bluefields there are about 10 people that rotate in and out throughout the day, all here just to make sure we have everything we need and that we don’t have to lift a finger for anything… and although it is something I could get use to, I don’t think I would like it day after day because the truth of the matter is you are never alone because there is someone constantly watching after you… and sometimes I just like to be alone. Luckily there is a private patio right off my bedroom where I was able to get a little private sun time (aka without my bikini top on) so I will be able to go back to the states minus tan lines, yay!

Though as amazing as it’s been to have nothing to do, I will admit I did start to go a little stir crazy by the end of the day… I did get to take an amazing walk along the footpath up and down the neighboring Villas and really watch the storm progress. And of course I took a million pictures of every little thing I saw and every small wave crashing on the beach. It was amazing to walk and not see anyone, no hear any noise except the waves, to just smell the amazing salt air and rain. I originally thought to go on a run, but it was just so breath taking I actually had to just stop and enjoy everything all around me. For the first time in a really long time, I was able to really just stop. And it felt amazing!

Since it was too stormy to go into town we didn’t even make it to the market today, much less snorkeling and cliff diving. So all that has been shifted to Friday and luckily tomorrow we are off at 6am to Zip Line through the rainforest and then off to what is supposed to be the Niagara Falls of Jamaica! I’m nervous, excited and scared all at the same time! Basically just having the time of my life and can’t wait to see what adventure tomorrow will bring. It has started to rain once again and I can feel my eyes getting sleepy...


So until tomorrow...
Sending my love from the Islands!
XXOO,
Hardt

PS Additional Animal Count today: My new friend the crab that followed me on my entire walk along the beach today, our 3 dogs that have now grown to 5 dogs (which all seem to like to sleep right outside my door), a really cool Pelican which spent most of its day right in front of the villa looking for food and of course the really loud frogs right outside my window that like to remind me that yes I am in a Jungle and not at home in LA!

Jamaican me crazy...Day 1

After a long day tending bar for college football the last thing I wanted to hear Saturday afternoon was that my flight to Jamaica was delayed… after a nerve racking couple of weeks watching hurricanes come in and out of the area I was starting to get nervous that I would have a week of rain, flooding and come back as white as I had left. So with the delay you can imagine how happy I was to just finally be on my way to the airport…. Suitcase, check. Wallet, check. Passport, check. And we were finally off…. Until we checked in at the airport. Luck would have it the one person doing the passport checks on all of us had left hers at home! So while the rest of us bellied up to the bar to start our early Jamaican festivities, poor Janice was stuck rushing home to get hers. To only find out that as soon as she had her passport in hand, of course the car wouldn’t start! But finally she was on her way, in the second car of the evening… yea we are finally on our way to Jamaica. Well of course that was after our 3 hour delay in the airport… we were tired but didn’t care-we were FINALLY on our way to Jamaica.

And boy was the wait worth it. This island is breath taking… I am currently sitting out on the patio off of my bedroom, over looking our pool and private cove just staring at the stars in the sky… and once again I am speechless. In less than 24 hours I have fallen in love with the land, the people and the way of life.

View from my bedroom

View out the other bedroom door

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself... let me go back to the beginning when we landed, in wonderful Montego Bay! Upon arriving (with no cloud in sight!) our driver Percy meet us at the airport with our rental van- a 12 person passenger van was needed to fit the 6 of us and all of our luggage! In the hour and half that it took to get from the airport to our Villa in Bluefield’s we went through town after town, and over mountains and through what can only be described as rainforests… I was first struck but how shockingly beautiful the poverty was in this county with everyone dressed in their Sunday best and the brightest clothes I have ever seen hanging on the clothes lines. How happy everyone seemed to be, no matter what their station in life was or what their job was that they were doing. We passed the smallest bars you have ever seen, little shack stores and houses on top of one another- almost all painted lively colors and with people sitting out on verandas just enjoying the Sunday breeze. Everyone was just walking along the narrow road, cars honking at one another, families waving to friends across the street. It was as if everyone had a smile on their face.

Montego Bay

Montego Bay

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

Road to Negril

And just when I thought I couldn’t fall more in love, we hit the Negril side of the island and the water. Let’s just say I basically swooned! It’s unbelievable how crystal clear and calm the water is… and how warm! Upon arriving at the villa we were greeted by the manager, our chef, our butler and more staff than you can imagine! We spent the morning and early afternoon in a transitional Villa since ours wasn't ready for us yet... best temporary accommodations I think have ever seen with staff coming in and out of it all day. Though our temporary Villa was nothing compared to Le Hermitage where we will be spending the next 8 days. A 4 bedroom Villa complete with infinity pool and the most amazing view that I've ever seen. Plus you can't beat staying at an old Pirates Lair! And when they say fully staffed villas they aren’t kidding. In the last 12 hours we have had every need tended to. We’ve swam in the pool, had drinks brought to us in the ocean, floated in the most clear water I will probably ever see, ocean kayaked along the shore, took a nap in a hammock right over the ocean...

Bluefields Bay

Bluefields Bay

My own little piece of paradise!

La Hermitage

First nights dinner and our view from the dinning room

Sunset at diner

we've eaten the most amazing foods for lunch and dinner (Pineapple Lamb kabobs that I can't even being to describe!), drank more alcohol than I care to remember, stared at millions of stars, wished on at least one, and am now currently listening to the sounds of the jungle around me. It’s insane to think that less than 24 hours ago I was sitting in Los Angeles, amongst the smog and traffic and stressing myself over jobs and boys that don’t really matter. It seems now that all that matters is this moment. Nothing before this really has meant anything! Tomorrow we are off to another adventure… the boat picks us up at 10am to bring us to some off shore reef to snorkel, then it’s back to the villa for lunch, and then to what I’m dying to do- Ricks Café on the water and I will be cliff diving from the bar! And if I survive that it will be off to a Cocktail Party in the evening!

Sending my love from the islands!
XXOO,

Hardt

PS Animal Count so far: Goats, Cattle, Rosters, 3 dogs that live at the Villa right outside my bedroom, a half dozen lizards, pelicans and about every mosquito know to man which are currently having a late night snack of me!

My watch Dogs

On borrowed time...

Late last night I got back from another fantasy weekend in San Diego with Mr. Green. I say fantasy because when I’m down there it seems I leave my reality and enter into this blissful “couple”. But like all fantasies they must come to an end, which of course happened last night over dinner. But first let me share moments of it before I burst your bubble. I have to start out with even though we have only been dating for 2 months we are disgustingly couply, more so than I would think given his aversion to being in a relationship. He reaches for my hand wherever we go, leans over for a kiss while driving, and while out at a restaurant my hands are usually inside his…. Though my favorite part of him is when he reaches for me in the middle of the night...So you can see where the line blurs between dating and relationship… and why it’s hard for me to bounce back and forth when I return to LA. Because when I'm in San Diego we have this amazing relationship... and when I'm in LA I just go back to being just that girl he sometimes has sex with.

I drove down on Saturday night already exhausted and annoyed with the situation. Lately I've been feeling like I'm more of a nuisance than a pleasure to him, so when I arrived in San Diego lets just say I was not in my best mood… but luckily after a couple of drinks and a little making out, he was able to snap me right out of it. We spent the first two days around other people, either his friends, roommates or my friends. Which was fine with me because I was hoping to show him that these weekends are possible without the stress of entertaining me and that we can still live our own lives and be together. The master plan was to implant in his head that these weekends in San Diego are not only possible but realistic. After all he travels so much for work, and I work not so much, so I have no problem doing a bit of the commuting. Easy enough for me to come down on a Friday afternoon and come back up on a Sunday Morning before I bartend for Sunday Football... So this weekend I got to catch up with friends while hiking, had lunch with his brother Mr. Green Sr. (Cotija, best Mexican EVER), meet up with old friends of mine from high school that I literally haven’t seen in years and got to meet many of his friends while out for his roommates birthday. Now I don’t remember many names, and I’m sure the faces are a little blurry (we did have a lot to drink), but what I did recall was that most of the ones he described as really great friends were couples. Interesting, and at the time I thought promising, turns out that was just wishful thinking!

Now if the first two days were spent around other people, Monday was spent blissfully alone. And after walking down to breakfast and laying around in bed doing nothing for the rest of the morning he took me on a surprise outing. The day before I had casually mentioned wanted to go to the aquarium, so after bugging him all morning to do something he said he had a surprise for me. And after practically being blindfolded I was led to the aquarium… a good surprise! And the entire time we were riding with my eye closed I was hoping that was where he would be taking me… The entire time he was like a little kid happy with his idea to surprise me, and I was like a little kid happy that I was with someone who wanted to surprise me! Now I won’t bore you with all the specifics on the weekend, but once again it was a perfect weekend in San Diego… Well perfect in my book, sure we did annoy each other at parts, and did argue a bit, give each other a lot of shit, and managed to be passed out before midnight on both nights… But I got some sun, spent some time on the beach, got a hike in, had some great sex… all in all accomplished what I had gone down there for… all except one little thing…

While at dinner last night I knew I needed to bring up the dreaded word “exclusive”… Now I need to start out by saying in Mr. Green’s defense he hasn’t been dating or sleeping with anyone else… which as nice as that is to know it also has pointed out to me that he could if he wanted to… and turns out that he still does want the opportunity too. He told me that he doesn’t know if he can be exclusive for awhile…. Which is fair, but it also was fair to tell him that our dating does have an expiration date which is coming up pretty soon. Because as much as I would like to just continue having fun together and having great sex and lots of laughs, the more time I spend with him the more I do actually like him. And the fact is I don’t want to be out there dating anyone else. He specifically asked about Mr. C&O, who I have been avoiding blogging about since Mr. Green does occasionally read my blogs. And although Mr. C seems like a great guy, the problem is I just have been avoiding our actual first date because it doesn’t feel right! And it’s not Mr. Greens permission that I needed (in fact I was a little disgusted when he told me that I should feel free to continue to date other people). It's like in the Break-up with their fight over the dishes, I just want him to NOT want me to date other people! But the real question is, how long can I wait for someone who probably isn’t ever going to want to be with just me? If after 2 months he doesn’t know, I think we both already have that answer… which is just plain old no I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. And maybe it’s because of the place he's at in his life, maybe it’s the distance, his age, my annoying pressuring of him or maybe it’s just me… I don't know if I will ever know. But for now I’m going to wait it out a bit longer because the truth of the matter is I do like him. And despite his lack of interest in commitment he is actually a really good guy, lets just see if he can transition into a great one.

But for now I head to Jamaica at the end of the week and plan on forgetting all my romantic issues. After that we shall just have to wait and see. After our conversation he said that he still wants to continue dating me and wants plan a weekend up here for us to go see Point Break Live… so cross your fingers and lets see if that happens. Maybe in the meantime he will realize that I might just be worth the leap he’s afraid to take… I just hope he realizes that in time!